Kitchen And Craft Wix Corner (Exciteable Bird, Enter At Own Risk)

Oh interesting things
Atish'an ended up being, somewhat surprisingly, a Recruiting Judge. This is because at the end she is willing to do pretty much everythign by herself, but why the hell would she not take help where she can get it? Every time she had the opportunity she liked reminding people that a dirty Dalish Apostate was saving their asses, she lived for the scandal, but still managed to get Belle of the Ball in Halamshiral because she managed to gather just enough dirt on everyone assembled, and was so constantly visible and the center of attention that no one could ignore her and talking ill of her was too risky.
She always sided with elves, oppressed people and mages, no matter what and she tried to help people whereever she could. She also had a big weakspot for romanticism and hero's tales, so she encouraged people to marry for love, helped build up Sutherland's company, and so on. She looked out for the little people, so it is really no wonder she became a Jenny in the end.
She also adored learning, although nobility and history knowledge perks she had only time to learn about after the main game. She explored all elven and dwarven ruins in the game and befriended the Avvar gladly to learn from them.
In a lot of ways it really just didn't matter that she denied being chosen by Andraste, because the faithful saw the Maker's hand work through her anyways. Especially after she encouraged the truth about Inquisitor Ameridan be spread (that he was an elven mage as well, and worshipped the Maker besides the Evanuris).
In the end her colorscheme ended up being all Dragon Materials because she turned into quite the Dragon Hunter, no doubt in part due to her close friendship with the Iron Bull and Sera. She has slain all 12 high Dragons appearing in DA:I+DLCs
So these were her colors in the end:



with secondary cloth accents in King's Willow Weave


Her most common dialogue options were usually

though of course class/race options were taken often as well


She took Solas' betrayal very hard , and the fact that she stuck her entire head in every single strange artifact in range certainly did not help (She completed all Astariums, did the Ocularums/Shards/Solasan things, visited all Dwarven ruins in the Wastes, drank of the Well, took and Avvar blessing, and went down into the Titan, although that had not much effect on her, but it still alarmed her greatly. She also collected all of The Taken Shape during Trespasser and wears it to this day, received Dirthamen's secrets and the Sulevin Blade and completed the puzzles underneath Ghilan'nain's grove.)
Sera is doing her best to keep her sane, most likely, and so are Varric and Hawke, but she ended up becoming fast friends with Merrill, and consults her a lot whenever she is in her mansion, playing Comtesse.

 

Meraud is a small political and economic disaster in elven shape unless you consider smuggling a healthy economy I guess.

 

Also the fact that she's a Shapeshifter, Battlemage and Arcane Warrior should strike fear in the hearts of her enemies because hooo boy she can fuck you up (the last spec is literally just bc Awakening has a feature to put heraldry on any shields your character is wearing and I love it so much and needed Meraud to have a big ass Grey Warden Shield)

 

I love my ruthless cutthroat asshole daughter who is still in denial over the fact that she actually likes and cares about people (other than Zevran, he's become firmly established as The Husband, whom she loves greatly)
She doesn't even feel bad about Arl Howe, she just conscripted Nate because he mouthed off too hard and she really needs Wardens right now. And making people who tried to kill her allies has become a bit of a family tradition.
Oh my god I think she considers Nate her idiot asshole murder son even more than she feels like Anders is her dumb child whom she loves, because of these circumstances.
Meraud no.

 

Dear Phone,
What the fuck did I do to you, that you refuse to take pictures of my beautiful son Idris Hawke.
I want to show people how pretty he is.
Why this.

Sincerely,
A Disgruntled DA Fan

 

fixed phone hiccup so now i just need to take new pics of Idris >_>

 

part of me: "I probably shouldn't be using the DLC equipment in DA2 bc it gives me an unfair advantage"
the part of me that's all Tea, no Shade: "u bought it no one can tell u not to use it. also ur not playing this game for the challenge, let's not kid ourselves ur just a slut for the romance options"
first part of me: "Extremely Valid Point."

 

Look the dlc equipment is there to be used, it is objectively better than p much anything you can get in act 1 :p

 

my mother pointed out another extremely valid point:
the DLC gear is rly cute and any game experience that gives me a customizable character and then forces me to run them around in ugly clothes for more than 10 hours is not a game experience I should subject myself to

 

look how soft my first hawke is
He's a good sweet anders romancing boy
But holy shit, DA2 fucks me hard in the option paralysis everything??? is happening???? so much????

 

Also as visible by the subtitles up top
Hey EA why do you hate me, specifically, and force me to play this game in german? bc the german dub is super horrible actually and I hate it

 

Were I less of a parody of myself I would not be pissed at Bioware for refusing to acknowledge the fact that canonically Cullen should be doing an elaborate 'I know you know that I know you're an apostate mage because I literally watched you escape the circle seven times and be dragged back almost every single time and I'm only just not arresting you for being an apostate on the spot because I don't know if you are here on official Warden business or some shit' dance at Anders
Were I less of a parody of myself I would not feel so robbed by the lack of potential pissyness and/or awkwardness between Cullen and Hawke in DA:I

like on the one hand I know they don't want to dangle shit in front of the player if they may or may not have ever actually played the games or gotten to the content that would be referenced or push things into the spotlight that should at most be quiet background stuff since you're never actually 100% involved in the inner worlds of your companions of course. But man. Bioware fucking cheated me out of some prime Cullen Is Bad At Social shit. I know that the Varric-Hid-Hawke-From-Cassandra drama was probably more apropos for the writers but shit there could have been like almost a decade of baggage between Hawke and Cullen, especially wrt Anders.
And that's not even starting on how bitter I am over there not being a mention of Anders also being affected by Corypheus' Calling in DA:I

 

things I should write in no particular order:

Spoiler: some of these are nsfw

• Urban Fantasy AU that has the Wardens as a sort of secret society underground thing warring against the Darkspawn a little like the Black Dagger Brotherhood
• introspective piece about cullen in the Meraud/Idris/Brejan worldstate where he thinks about all the things going wrong for him an references all the bits that bioware is cruelly withholding from me
• Cute little piece about Cullen's expectations of sharing a bed with the person he loves (Brejan Lavellan) versus the reality
• Maybe??? Cullen and his wife going off to Weisshaupt to see if things there are alright after he finally admits he is worried about the HoF/Warden-Commander???
  • incidentally for this also write Idris and Anders who would be there too afaik
  • Does Cullen Finally Get To Fuck All The Mages He Is Secretly A Bisexual Disaster For?
  • maybe. Depends on whether Meraud can let go tbh bc she might be a weird possessive disaster about it.
  • Yeah no I doubt I could actually manage a six-way with this bc Meraud is too much of an asshole.
• Cullen and Anders angryly fucking eachother up during Act 1 of DA2 should happen tho. and by that I mean they should fuck.

 

incidentally does anyone have fic for Anders/Cullen as a ship bc I... think... that's I may have trapped myself in rarepair hell

 

You've somehow managed to trap yourself in the worst rarepair hell. If I ever find anything, I'll throw it your way, but Anders fans and Cullen fans tend to despise each other, without have the benefit of Sexy Blackrom ship bridges like Anders and Fenris fans.

(I would say 'check the tag' but in my experience, a solid half of the fics one way or another are going to be hate-fics where the entire point it to show you how loathsome and awful one of the characters is and why fucking him is a Mistake. )

 

some people just have no taste

 

GUESS I'LL HAVE TO FUCKING SUFFER.
dragon age fandom is wrong as hell once a fucking gain

 

Ser Cullen Rutherford has an ancient flip-phone that can only play hilariously offkey midi ringtones and that's canon
Fight Me IRL If You Disagree, Bioware.

 

corollary: he doesn't know how to change his ringtones but leliana sure does

she uses this power for great evil

 

This is the best addition to any post I have ever received.
Consider: Cullen Rutherford unsure why everyone is laughing at his ringtone that he took Five minutes to even recognize as his own phone going off.
It's a truly amazingly awful midi version of Baby Got Back. Some teen asks him if he likes Nicki Minaj. Cullen randomly wakes up in the middle of the night wondering who the fuck miss Minaj is for a solid month