SO! I did that Very Stupid Thing again last fall/this early winter where depression/anxiety/panic and some truly horrible living situations made me drop all of my (extremely tentative and insufficient) healthcare connections and appointments. Again. (I know from experience that most neurotypical people I've talked to find this baffling, but... apparently other people experience it too?) Anyway, we have medical insurance, we even have an HSA full of funds that can cover copays at least for a while, and I have a whole cluster of mental and physical health issues that need taken care of, but I am sandwiched between shame at failing to take care of myself, phone anxiety + audio processing issues, some by-now earned fear of the medical industry in general, and an actual shortage of healthcare (especially mental healthcare) in my region. I just. Get overwhelmed and depressed any time I even try to start thinking about where to start with this. Advice and, later on when I even have tasks figured out, gentle nudging reminders to complete tasks would be super duper welcome. Health Problems that Probably Need Fixing: previous gynecologist diagnosed me with PCOS - I was on birth control pills for a while to regulate my cycle, and it's stayed relatively regular once I went off of them, but I might still have thyroid or insulin resistance issues that need monitored and/or medicated repetitive stress injuries in hands - I actually feel like I have my day-to-day care of this on lockdown, but it would be... nice to have access to physical therapy if I accidentally do a Big Injure to them again sometime? my hand history is complicated. depression - super root of lots of my issues. Should definitely be on antidepressants, as they REALLY HELP... but when I went on hormonal birth control for the PCOS, it was like taking a sugar pill instead of my antidepressant, and I got really discouraged, and then life snowballed on my and I said "fuck it" and stopped doing anything, basically. PTSD? - I have no official diagnosis for this, but it's pretty damn clear by now that this is a thing I'm dealing with, probably complex-type, between the two disparate sources of a series of abusive relationships in the past five years AND two severe car accidents. I should. Be getting some kind of treatment? I think? GI issues - Not sure what the root of this is, but we have a family history of a lot of varying kinds of GI issues. I didn't used to have problems at all, but back when I was getting regular healthcare two-ish years ago they had me on multiple medications that all had GI issues as a side effect... and the issues didn't go away when I stopped medications. Partially manageable with diet experimentation at home, but still frustrating and mildly concerning. teeth - aaaaaaa. I haven't been to a dentist in. Forever. And I only in the past six months or so, with lots of patience from my wife, have started developing even reasonable oral hygeine habits, as toothbrushing is very near Ultimate Sensory Nope for me. I've got the habits in good progress now, but I know my teeth are kind of fucked up and need cleaned and... probably some work done? But a dentist is the one kind of medical professional I have literally never found on my own as an adult. I don't even know how dental care works vs healthcare and what I have to do to make sure insurance is doing insurance things. I am completely beyond overwhelmed by this. eyes - This is probably the easiest! I'm about six months overdue for an eye exam, but I know the doctor I used before, and I like him, and they even do online scheduling. the ONLY downside is that my wife seems to remember us having to pay a significant money out of pocket for my lenses and/or frames last time, and I don't remember why, and that is something that isn't covered by our HSA by our memory/understanding, so we'll have to plan that around having wiggle room in the budget. (And, honestly, prioritize her getting glasses, since she hasn't had new ones in years). Not an issue that I necessarily NEED healthcare for, but one that informs all of this - I am super-strongly suspected autistic, but not diagnosed. The autism explains quite a few of my medical history decisions, may inform some comorbidities, and will ABSOLUTELY affect how I experience the medical care industry... but I don't know if seeking diagnosis is a thing I want to do right now? And holding things up for that process regardless doesn't seem healthy. This got very rambly, and I'm sorry. I will super duper incredibly appreciate anyone's help, advice, or even just hugs. This all sucks, but I REALLY WANT to be good and start trying to take care of myself again.