This might not be similar at all, but... Well, I tend to end up obsessing over obscure(ish) fandoms and characters, not as much the popular ones. And so yeah, that makes finding people that share those fandoms pretty hard. As a result, I end up valuing is "in my obscure(ish) fandom/likes my fave obscure(ish) character" pretty hard as traits in people. The thought process is kinda like, "you like/drew/wrote a fic about Norm the Genie! Awesome! Instant follow! Be friend!" or "Hello, me, look at that awesome person, now at Norm the Genie, now back at that awesome person, now back at Norm the Genie. Awesome, yeah but... sadly, they aren't into Norm the Genie but if they started being into him, they could be even more awesome. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the hypothetical version of them that's into Norm the Genie." And this happens to make it hard to escape tumblr's toxic environment, being that tumblr's the general fandom hub rn, where I'm most likely to find the people that like my obscure(ish) fandoms and stuff. Like, I could go off tumblr but that'd mean not getting my fix of obscure(ish) fandoms and stuff, or I could not do that and well... grin and bear the bullshit, occasionally ranting about it to seebs and stuff. Though I'd say that it doesn't 'cause me any problems apart from the "can't live with it, can't live without it" thing about Tumblr, and I don't really feel the need to mention it much. After all, I know it's just a Me Thing and I value other qualities highly as well. Just... I value my obscure(ish) fandoms so much that I suffer BS for them that I probably wouldn't suffer for anything else, and my personal liking of people is kinda rated in a weird way (with my obscure(ish) fandoms automatically pushing those that like them up a notch). Yeah... just rambling 'cause I was reminded of this by the thread.
Wow, this sounds awfully limiting. Ideally you would have some interests general enough to find people even offline (which ofc depends a lot on your location, and is not your fault if doesn't work). It sounds like a self-defense mechanism gone wrong. ( I have something similar w/ politics, and I start to understand my therapists' desperation when they propose all kinds of occasions to meet people, and I dislike them all. For me, believing that the only thing people might like in me are identical opinions is something I want to stop doing.)
