Mood stability advice? (tired of adopting the moods of those around me)

I realize I adopt the moods of everyone around me

I think the solution is CBT?

kinda want to let this thread die im kind of embarrassed i made it. i'll get therapy the minute i can i'm just waiting on insurance

 

Don't be embarrassed, this is what this subforum is for!

I would say for the time being, try to avoid situations where you're around people with heightened moods. If there's drama, offline or online, steer clear. If you've discovered you're adopting a mood you don't want, remove yourself from the situation and do something that distracts you.

 

thank you!

 

Realizing I should have asked this specific thing sooner, because the degree to which the moods of others affects me is directly and extremely closely correlated with how much I interact with them every day. And I interact with my partner an awful lot. And the issue usually comes up between us.

My partner and I live together and we are each other's primary social units. I am extrovert he is introvert. Sometimes he just does not want to interact with me. And that should be fine, except it makes me very panicky. It's extra had bc that usually coincides with like, him having a bad day where he has no spoons to explain that "No, you didnt do anything wrong, I just needs time to myself." So, knowing it's going to upset me, I think makes it worse. Also he has gone through some shit that makes it where he has trouble stating his needs when he's stressed, and I have gone through some shit that makes me triple-guess everything that isn't explicitly stated.

(I don't mean to spam and I won't copypaste this anywhere else, I'm just not sure it's getting noticed in the other thread bc it's under a cut and the thread might not be set up for this, whereas this is a thread I made with this specific problem in mind)

 

Maybe if you set up a non-verbal signal? Like a "I'm not feeling good please give me space" signal. Maybe something you can hang on a door? Or a refrigerator magnet? It might help the anxiety of "did I do something wrong?"

 

ive seen those mood meter flip card things that are modeled after a battery/video game hearts/etc that can indicate spoon level and mood?

Spoiler: example

you could probably make your own tailored to your and you partners needs? if you make them togeher it should help because you both would then understand the meaning and what it's for

 

!! this seems like an excellent idea thank you guys!

 

No problem! I hope that helps some, and good luck!

 

(I don't think you can be prosecuted for spamming you own damn thread. No jury would convict.)

I have a really similar problem, I think. I absorb people's moods and then feel angry at them for harshing my buzz. It's worst with my mom. Sometimes I just have to evacuate the area.

It's pretty bad with my sister, who also absorbs moods, so it's like an endless spiral of escalating angst. It's a little easier to deal with than my mom, since there isn't the parent thing to contend with. We've discovered that contact comfort works pretty well for us as a tool to help stop spiraling. Like, we'll be sitting on the couch and just lean against each other's shoulders. Your mileage will probably vary. I can imagine it making things much worse if one of us just really needed space.

One of the more helpful general pieces of advice I've encountered was in a book about compassion. The author suggested treating the bad feelings as a tiny glimpse into what the other person is experiencing. That has helped me with my mom, because I can't even imagine how a person could function under the weight of what she's probably feeling. When I can see it that way, it feels less like an imposition and more like a chance to witness the incredible strength of another human being. It doesn't make everything better, but when I have the energy to do it successfully, it does tend to create a lasting feeling of goodwill and understanding that makes it easier to navigate tension and misunderstandings.

I love the mood meter things. They're adorable and practical.