mostly roving, partly stars

Kai needs new mapping software for her brain

 

We definitely just got in a lipstick fight. So I'm not doing too bad at date night after all :)

 

I survived this weekend, and I kind of sometimes think I'm good, so at least I've got that going for me

Tomorrow:

• Find the laundry card
• Get cat food
• Try another yarn skein
• Shawl edging
• Spin

 

My box delivery got delayed a day :(

 

I have bought cat food (Fiyero is happily brooding over his hoard once more) & resolved the laundry card situation, so the rest of my day is self-directed fiber work, taking care of the dumb meat husk, and finding enjoyment in the Alone Day!

 

THE BOX ARRIVED TODAY AFTER ALL!!!!!

I have opened (and filmed) it, the video is uploading, and I have even more fiber goodies!!! My to-spin queue is getting quite quite long, but I don't really regret it because that makes me free to take risks with the fiber I have, instead of feeling like I have to make it all perfect. It also meant I felt totally free to give away a big chunk to some beginning spinners, and I can keep doing that, and that makes me feel AWESOME.

 

I'm not very sure I'm good at being a friend, but I'm trying.

(aka having 2 messenger windows open, where I'm valiantly attempting "normal friendship conversation" and??? how does this work? this sperg may never know)

 

I think you’re doing great at being my friend, at least! <3

 

That is good to know, thank you @Acey!

I have a lot of anxiety about not doing the little maintenance stuff right - past abusers have harped on me "using" people, and depression self-isolation has historically meant I drop out of contact with people, so I've been trying to level my Friendship skills lately, but it's hard. At least I had good "how's life what's up" chats today, even if they were brief ones.

 

I'm trying so hard to get better at food and it's exhausting. But hey, there's a fresh batch of amasu-zuke in the fridge, I have a dinner planned that has, like, actual nutritional balance, and I need to remember that I can make one-pot pasta with basically zero notice if I want.

 

Kai and I had good dinner, good conversations, got hungry and made extra dinner, and then went on a pokeventure. It's weird that all four locations near us - two stops and two gyms - are churches, all within a one-block radius, but hey, thaaaaaat's Indiana for you.

 

It's been forever since we rpd them, but I still love these characters

Spoiler: Screenshot, eyesearing quirks

 

Spoiler: calories

So I'd been feeling really stressed & depressed about my physical health, started doing more diet research bc I know I don't eat super great... aaaaand Kai and I realized we're both not eating enough. So! We're both gonna experiment with counting calories to make sure we're meeting minimums, and we'll see how that goes. Right now it's hitting Fun Sperg Data Collection and Wow I Can Have Abundance psych buttons for me, but I'm wanting to keep an eye out for anxious/compulsive behavior around it instead bc I know I am hecka prone to that, and I've had disordered/restricted eating before (altho never combined with calorie counting, just general "I don't deserve food" BS.) I'm gonna add the topics to my tags on this thread, and spoiler all talk about it, but I'm also probs gonna talk about food even more!

The news for today is holy shit when I get 3x what I had been getting for breakfast, I have SO MUCH MORE ENERGY. Dumb realizations FTW!

 

Comfort food dinner: tomato soup made with homemade stock, sourdough cheddar grilled cheese, and milk

 

Spoiler: Calories

I have eaten so many foods today and myfitnesspal still says I have almost 600 calories left to my goal amount once it adds exercise... Kai is going to start making supper/evening snack soon, but still @.@ eating an ice cream mochi may actually be a step towards calorie goal instead of, like, an extra treat.

 

I got so many groceries! SO! MANY! 6 giant bags, had to clean out/organize the fridge before we could fit everything in.

Part of Kai and I not eating enough is executive dysfunction, but a big part of it is poverty trauma. Getting this much groceries in one go - and we still have grocery budget left - is such a good feeling. We really really are doing okay.

 

Tonight's dinner is: homemade pasta carbonara, from-a-bag Caesar salad, Harp lager. Also, happy wife!

 

Ohhhh, that pasta looks superb!! Was it as delicious as it looks?

 

It WAS! I got the recipe from the Frugal Gourmet cookbook, but I digitized it in my Google drive here.