mostly roving, partly stars

I just got half an hour of wheel time for the first time in probably weeks and it felt amazing? Like, holy shit, I really need to not let stress & depression crowd this out of my life. And I need to keep a sense of "It's OK if it's not perfect" bc perfectionism was definitely part of the hangup.

 

KAI'S BPAL ORDER CAME INCLUDING IMPS FOR ME HECK YE

 

• Get dressed
• Brush teeth
• Start dye pot
• Look up design resources for website front page
• DO THE FUCKING DUPLICATE STITCH
• Ply yarn
• Write up care article
• Work on PPD playlist?
• Yoga?
• Do the chicken?

 

Depression: you're a horrible gremlin who fails at everything and ruins everything you touch. Hate hate hate. You're awful, inherently and deeply.

Me: *slathering BPAL's "Good" all over myself* is there a fly in here?

 

At least I've done some of it? I really need to get the chicken in soon, but... After the next round of dye pouring.

 

The chicken is in, and I forgot how heavy that fucking pot is when it's empty, never mind when it's full :/ owwwwwwwww

Having cooked chicken +stock is gonna be worth it, tho. Fresh bone-in chicken stock for making garlic soup ought to kill Kai's lingering cold stone dead, and will hopefully revive me some to make it through this week.

 

The chicken is out and carryover-cooking in its pot on the stovetop. The intended master skein of dearg got bright gray flecks and I don't know if I'll need to fix it or how long that will take. Instead of the care article, I made the skeletons for the listings, they just need photos and proofreading now. My back hurts from lifting heavy hot pots all day, my arms don't hurt yet and that's almost worrying me? And I haven't made it to the wheel yet, but all I want to do for a minute is lay down and maybe cry.

 

Tomorrow:

• Filter stock
• Shower
• Laundry
• Dyepot (gorm, uaine, agus rua... Maybe also dearg)
• Write care article & schedule it
• More duplicate stitch
• Start reviewing front page design
• Ply yarn
• PPD playlist?
• Jams time

 

Done:

• Stock
• Shower
• Laundry
• 1 skein dyed
• Front page resources brought up

Still need to:

• At least 2 more skeins
• Write care article

Currently doing:

• Laying on my bed in the dark

 

Care article: done
1 skein: done
1 skein: in progress

I'm gonna try to chill the fuck out and be proud of myself.

Tomorrow -

• Dyepot (dearg, maybe donn)
• Put away clothes
• Front page design
• Print labels
• Proofread products
• Count woops! Skeins
• Photograph woops! Skeins?

 

oh man you're doing so muhc i'm really impressed and tbh it is cheering me on to get my own stuff done!

 

*cheers everyone on* you can do the things!

 

Thank you! I'm glad I can provide motivation :) to be transparent, this is a little above maximum healthy productivity for me, but it's for a scheduled limited time, I have social and chemical support, and I am better at heeding overwork signs than I was in, say, college.

 

I surviiiiiiive

But seriously, I completed all of the following:

• Dyed every. Single. Master. Skein.
• Knit a fingerless glove from a spare hank for a knit sample.
• Picked a new website theme and did most of the settings tweaks accessible pre-publication.
• Counted, photographed, edited, and put photos in listings for the not-colorways.
• Updated to-do list of site continuity issues.
• Ate scones idk that's about where my brain is stopping

The scones were very good tho

 

My brain is making the "machine operating under high strain" noise in the background constantly, but I'm trying to maintain some amount of forward momentum regardless.

Primary goals for today:

• Dye work
• Laundry
• Spinning

Secondary goals:

• Knitting
• Planning for PPD
• Some kind of body-tuning (yoga? singing?)

 

Dye work in progress, laundry is clean & dry and just needs folded, and I did some minor body tuning in the form of extensive rocking chair time.

My best friend gave me AMAZING secret news, I have good meds, and we've been able to have the apartment breezy-open for 24 hours and will possibly be able to keep it so until the weekend!

I'm gonna get spinning done later, and laundry folding party, and maybe some other work, but I am trying to take it easy too. Heed the machine strain noise, you know.

(The balance between rest as self care and getting things accomplished as self care is still elusive, and the hardest to find when it's the most necessary I think.)

 

Clothes Mountain is now more like Clothes Gently Rolling Fields, so I'm making progress! Dye work continues, and will into the night bc my sleep schedule is all fucky again, but at least I'm consistently getting decent amounts of sleep if at odd hours.

 

We have hit the kind of cool morning where the blankets are perfectly comfortable, and getting out of them to get dressed feels entirely not worth it... But I have things to do!!! So I gotta figure out comfy clothes

 

I'm a tired fluff, but super cute & very determined

Today:

• Dyeworks
• Spinning
• PPD planning
• Fold/hang clothes from drying rack
• Nap! Seriously, that's a task, fit in rest.
• A little bit of knits, as approachable
• Clean cat food station

 

In one room - extremely loud music buzzing through the floor from downstairs
In other room - cat who keeps yelling at me like a bratty toddler even though it's not time for dinner yet
In my skull - migraine

I took pain meds but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa