MOTHER CUNTING ASS CATS!

Discussion in 'General Chatter' started by jacktrash, Feb 26, 2015.

  1. Firo

    Firo it's not heaven if all dogs don't go


    "you are about intelligent enough to pick up yellow snow thinking it's gelato"

    "all your "perfume" does is make you smell like a cow shit in a rosebush"
     
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  2. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

  3. IvyLB

    IvyLB Hardcore Vigilante Gay Chicken Facilitator

    "Woodstain spilled on carpet stinking up the room"
    and one of my favorite evergreens:
    "Bread can at least mold, what do you bring to the table?"
     
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  4. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

     
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  5. jacktrash

    jacktrash spherical sockbox

    BRILLIANT
     
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  6. Helen of Boy

    Helen of Boy Hugcrafter Pursuivant

    "I know there are many in need of more brain, but you weren't obligated to give yours away entirely."

    "I wish you good health and longevity. When I die, I want you as far from me as possible for as long as I can get."

    "If I enumerated your faults I'd die from lack of breath, and my ghost can surely be put to better work than an eternity spent trying to finish the list."

    "All of you can relax. None of your lives were worth the expense of poison."

    While it's less good for direct mining, I feel like this should be shared anyway, if only for the opening:



    "Ingrates, simpletons, and leeches" is one hell of a way to kick off a general address. (I also just realized I stole my second one here from that sketch, at least partially.)
     
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  7. Firo

    Firo it's not heaven if all dogs don't go

    "if you were a dolphin, you'd have already died of forgetting to breathe."
     
  8. sirsparklepants

    sirsparklepants *cries in sports*

    "Your mother doesn't know enough to be ashamed of you, poor woman. I don't blame her, you were the very best she could produce. It's not her fault you've all been working with substandard materials for the past fifty years."
     
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  9. Helen of Boy

    Helen of Boy Hugcrafter Pursuivant

    Nincomshit.

    As an intensified form of nincompoop.
     
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  10. budgie

    budgie not actually a bird

    Perhaps too juvenile, but: giving someone an uncomfortably long stare before comparing them in thorough detail to a reindeer's junk.
     
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  11. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    I'm very fond of XKCD's "gosh-darned cunt" and have every intention of having an unusually stressed Zahhak say it in a fanfic.

    Some of my fave books have some good ones, too. My favourite is "if brains were bread, you'd have starved to death before you were born!" Or:
    -Mattimeo, Brian Jacques
    -Path of the Perambulator, Alan Dean Foster
     
  12. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Last edited: Jan 14, 2019
    • Like x 1
  13. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    "One soggy dildo" came to mind earlier today.
     
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  14. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    One from a fanfic; "There had definitely been alcohol involved before and after his mother popped him out, and perhaps during."
     
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  15. budgie

    budgie not actually a bird

    Stumbled across this one today: "If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose"
     
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  16. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

     
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  17. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    "Without his help they wouldn't know which orifice to eat with."
     
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  18. jacktrash

    jacktrash spherical sockbox

    that's certainly a mental image
     
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  19. budgie

    budgie not actually a bird

    “Does your ass ever get jealous of all the crap that comes out of your mouth?”
     
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  20. Acey

    Acey draw the line dividing laugh and scream

    Not sweary exactly, but my (Christian—Episcopalian but culturally pretty Catholic) mom is fond of “Jesus, Mary, and good Saint Joseph!” as an exclamation when just “Jesus” isn’t enough.
     
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