You are seriously an amazing, awesome kid. Youve been through a really rough scary patch here. Anything you can do to protect and care for yourself will be a good thing. Eat some icecream. Watch a silly movie. Have a nice hot bath, or a nap. Whatever makes you feel good and replenished, because this has taken a lot out of you and you deserve care. I know you're worried about your mom and everything, but seriously. Taking care of you is 100% the most you ought to be doing rn. And not in any way a thing to feel bad about.