@bluefox THAT'S AWESOME!!! Also, an update(ish) post here along with some shitty webcam pics!!! My hair's wet since I'm fresh from the shower so don't mind that. So this is the new brace! There's a 'sock' on it, and the nurse said I could cut any sock to go over it. I might do that, but all the socks I touch are so ROUGH that it drives me insane. This, however, is the scar. It goes just a little further down than that, but it covers my entire neck. Some day I plan on getting a tattoo to 'frame' it, this shit is too important to just let be not shown. It's got a WEIRD texture though, and the white bits bump upward? I'm not sure if that's the fusion or just a hunk of scar tissue. AND THIS SHOWS WHAT THE EVIL HARD BRACE DID TO ME. I've got tiny bald spots on the sides of my head from the halo I was in, and I'm sure these (the one on the left is obviously worse) would be smaller had they not been CONSTANTLY PRESSED ON BY THAT DAMNED BRACE. Goddamn bald spots. Beyond that, my tremor is worse. I had an essential tremor before the wreck even, but after the surgery it's fucking terrible. My handwriting is awful and using a hot glue gun is a fucking harrowing experience. I'm also getting dizzy-near-fainting spells every time I stand from a crouch, stand from bending over, or just generally stand up too quickly. Vision starts to go white, I feel faint and light headed, and I have to reach out to touch something while I 'recover'. I had these spells before as a kid (18 / 19 that is, feels like I was a kid then though), but I was also half the weight that I am even now. I'd always attributed it to low body weight (along with the low blood pressure that came with it), but now I don't know? Either there's something else wrong or something happened because of the surgery. UGH
Yeah I sent an e-mail to the head nurse because phonecall spoons are hella low, thankfully she tends to reply very quickly.
Yup. A thing to discuss with the doctor! Also, if you want to have a nice scarf keep it out of the sun as much as possible, and put sunlotion on it when you are in the sun. Really high factor, that way it will heal the best
Talked to the doctor about it, was told to check my meds but that they'll talk about it. If it's not medication based, the only other option is deep-brain stimulation and I'm NOT about that life. I'll probably mention it to my lawyer. However, day before yesterday I got SERIOUSLY gluten contaminated and I'm sick as a dog. I'm living on pedialyte and water right now, so I doubt I'll be going there today.
So I've been told that with the tremmor it could mean that I require deep brain surgery. (Deep brain stimulation, the kind that that one girl had where she played her violin through the surgery.) I'm not really about that, and I'm not sure if I could even afford it. I have, however, decided to look into a support / service dog to help brace me for balance when I get light-headed and help me retrieve items and mentally support me for my PTSD / Bipolar. My therapist was actually quite proud of me for considering it, and said she thinks it's a good idea especially because of my neck surgery.
I really, really hope you don't end up needing that (knocking on wood). However, I am glad you are looking into a service dog! I've heard wonders about their help.
So I've been fighting with the company that holds all of my money (blah blah long story) and I've finally worked out with them for me to have a service dog. Since I have cats I decided (and was advised) to get a puppy so that the dog would grow up use to the cats. I found a puppy, a doberman (which is what I've been wanting out of a service dog due to their personality / nature) for a lot less than most. It's a 'pet only' dog, no breeding and all that which I'm fine with. I even set up a time to meet the breeder and go ahead and buy her, since he lives a little bit away from me. He was even kind enough not to ask for a deposit!!! Here's a picture of her: The only problem is, now I'm having Anxiety over it. What if I'm fucking up? What if people get mad at me for grabbing this puppy instead of adopting the adult dog I was quoted? Even though I don't want Star to come home and then have to be sent away because I Love My Cats. What if I get in trouble??? I have made so many mistakes, I get SO anxious about everything. Like what if this little girl doesn't make a good service dog? (Which is silly because her main goal would be to help with PTSD, and after that mobility assist and neither of those are super hard for service dogs to learn.) Am I jumping the gun to quickly? Should I wait longer? But I want time to let her grow... ugh I hate anxiety so much. I hate being unsure of my decisions. I hate it. Edit: As a note, I guess what lit a fire under my ass about this is that we all went to Ikea so my roomie could get some furniture and I had a grand total of 3 panic attacks due to People Anxiety + Loud Sudden Noises and then nearly fell when we got to the car / curb. Falling is a thing I can't do, due to surgery. And I just...
Anubis is here! He is SUPER good with the cats, like his first reaction was to back up and whine when they puffed. He backs away from them, disengages, and generally acts like a little pacifist. He's a bit whiny right now (2 hr car ride + leaving what he knew as home and family), but he's doing well. Currently he's under my chair chewing on a bully stick (dried bull penis, we honestly only got it because PR couldn't stop laughing at it in the pet store). The cats are adjusting but, once tomorrow rolls around I'll post some pictures of him!!
So, update: It's been over a week now without my neck brace! I still hurt sometimes, but I know that's weak muscles. Sad update: Anubis didn't work out as a pet in our home. He started showing EXTREME fear and anxiety (which is a no-no for service dogs) and it was heavily targeted at the cats, to near attack levels. So we took him back to the breeder, who had apparently been crying since I left with the pup because he missed the runt of the litter so badly. He refunded my money (rather kindly imho) and I know he's staying as another one of their pets, as he'd sort of become their daughter's dog. So it worked out, but I'm still dogless. I'm looking more towards rescues atm, though I'm up at my parents in law right now for christmas / new years and they're fostering this TINY golden retriever pup that has 0 fear of anything. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to keep him, just due to waiting for him to get over the bladder issues he has + the rescue they work with being in GA and me living in FL. His name is Brody though, and I keep thinking of Brody Quest lmfao.
We looked at a few puppies and eventually settled on the CUTEST little northern breed dog (Husky / Mal mix). We were kind of seeing what his base temperament is and my lord he's so laid back. When he was picked up he only squirmed enough to where he was comfortable. Heart stayed pretty even and calm in beat / time and he reacted to visual and auditory stimuli. Even when there was sudden noise (a bunch of the other dogs barking suddenly) he only sat up to see what it was, then laid back down and licked my arm. Not in a 'lethargic' way, if that makes sense but in a 'I know I don't need to worry' way. The breeder in question has cats, horses, donkeys, chickens, geese, and a (hilarious) peacock. Lots of people visit the puppies along with the cats seeing them and the puppies seeing / getting acclimated to the cats, which means they're highly socialized which is SUPER GREAT. She's even going the extra mile of feeding them puppy chow with freshly deboned / boiled chicken and wetted down with the water she uses to boil the chicken. She recommended us try to do something like that, since northern breeds need more protein than most other breeds, and she also said 'buy the most expensive food you can afford'. Which I'm willing to do. Apparently another pup in this one's line of family is a service dog even! Another puppy ended up over 100 pounds because its owner fed nearly completely raw diet while it was a pup, which basically I might try to get as close to as I can but... I don't know, depends on what my vet says! He's a red, his father is big and GORGEOUS and also a darling sweet heart. She advertised the pup as having blue eyes but when I got there both of us noticed that it looks like he might have one green eye and one blue!! Which is precious! But anyway, here are some pictures. He's only 5 weeks at this moment, so I'll be waiting until about 8 weeks until I can pick him up. My fiance is holding him in these pics.
We've been name jamming and I think we're leaning towards Norse god names, like Hati or Skoll. Really though, we're leaning towards Fenris due to it being an alternative to Fenrir and also being the name of a character that both of us like from dragon age.
Northern breeds are really good dogs! They do require a bit of exercise, though, so you'll probably have to walk him. But they're smart dogs and learn fast, so I'm sure he'll be good on a leash for you!
