Discussion in 'That's So Meta!' started by Snitchanon, Oct 24, 2018.
(yes, i acknowledge the irony in this)
also, yes, palin PMed it to me.
This is manipulative and is causing splash damage to other community members. Since you are concerned for Alix's wellbeing, please apply it to others. I've personally been held hostage with suicide threats before and had intermediaries ferry messages around a block. Please stop.
Not saying the full extent to which this upsets me just feels like lying.
There was a wiggled post before this one, which is why context seems to be missing.
I'm also really annoyed at not being allowed to explain the extent and reasons this is making me feel a specific (but Evil And Manipulative) way. I think this is another bad precedent, except in the opposite direction. (No, I'm not allowed to clarify what I mean by this)
Just why is it so hard for anyone to go "Eeeeh, just let them have it, it's not important to anyone else"?
Unfortunately, your feelings don't change the fact that a thread you started would be invisible to a lot of people, causing a good deal of confusion and probably upset on your end.
I don't care! I just want the tiniest little fucking bit of control over my life I can manage! And you're still taking that away from me!
(split for EvilBadWrong to-be-wiggled thoughts in the next post)
there are better places and ways to express your distress other than actively in the thread. your upset and hurt is real even if I don't understand it, but it's really not cool to try to make everyone else responsible for managing your mental health on this issue, which is what your actions were doing.
happy to talk to you in my brainbent thread or yours about stuff if you need, but a massive thing i'd suggest is to stop using other forum users as intermediates. You've done it before, it just causes upset and confusion for all involved.
I've spun this off into a thread here. I might move it to That's So Meta later, I'm still wavering on that.
i specified those because i am not comfortable engaging with your unmoderated posts right now. I am willing to relax my personal restrictions around postmod a bit in either of those zones, not to the extent of the dm you just sent me. Or the subsequent one I just recieved in which I told you i do not consent to a private discussion about this and you sent me spiralled posts that would have been wiggled.
I'm sorry you're feeling bad. The nature of using someone else as an intermediary means that yours actions are going to be interpreted through their lens, and camel certainly made it sound like you were in danger of killing yourself if the desired result was not achieved.
I will talk to you in your vent thread when your post there goes through. The offer to talk in mine has been withdrawn.
If you had either come to me or stated this in a less obviously-manipulative and self-hostage-taking way (yes, it still counts as hostage taking - the thing that makes it hostage-taking is the statement of a want and how suicidal not getting that thing is making you) I would have been only too happy to:
Explain my reasoning for preempting this and making a thread slightly early in the first place.
Explain to you that your thread would probably not take off.
Let you make a thread, anyway.
As it stands, I will let your thread through postmod in a second, once I've finished detangling things on my end.
Thanks! Now, since we've got duplicate threads, we can move the old one's contents to the new one.
That's not how duplicate threads work.
Exhibit A: the religion threads.
Yeah, we should do it to that one too.
We haven't, and we won't.
Also, if I merged the current Tumblr thread with yours, I'd still be the OP because yours is timestamped after mine.
this is not a good or productive thing to focus on. gonna walk through some cause and effect here based on things you've said:
you will feel bad if people do not engage with your new thread.
there are people who will likely not want to engage with your new thread due to the circumstances of its creation.
trying to get the threads merged will not help.
you will feel worse if your thread is ignored in favour of starting a different one.
for others, it may well be distressing and result in a feeling of obligation to engage with your new thread to avoid making you feel bad, which would put pressure not to engage with the other thread.
resentment for this situation
there's nothing stopping you from engaging with the thread contents, it's not an all or nothing situation. take a second and think it through. you will feel worse if you keep up this line of action.
i'm backreading things a bit, and for posterity's sake: can we get specific examples of "if this doesn't happen, i'll kill myself"? idk if things like "that's the last thing that kept me going" count.
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