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No Fighting In The Tumblr Room - Tumblr.txt 4th Thread Derail

Discussion in 'That's So Meta!' started by Snitchanon, Oct 24, 2018.

  1. ooooh, wait, hold on, i brought up alix feeling suicidal about it! that was actually my own interpretation, and while it seems to have ended up being right, it could also have not been, so, sorry about that @palindromordnilap
     
  2. Kathy

    Kathy Well-Known Member

    Yeah, that's one of the reasons using intermediaries to get around post-mod is a bad idea.
    It would also be nice to get an apology for myself and anyone else who felt blackmailed by your interpretation of the messages if that's okay, 'cause not only did it do a disservice to alix it also was pretty messed up to be attempting to make folks feel responsible if she did any self harm or attempted suicide.
     
    • Agree x 2
  3. yeah, i'm sorry. i've been through similar stuff in the past, and what helped was someone providing unconditional support and defense, so i tried to do just that. i unfortunately did it in a pretty stupid way that apparently just made things worse.
     
    • Witnessed x 4
  4. Kathy

    Kathy Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear that, and thank you for the apology C:
     
  5. basically, at first i was mad because of the way Snitch did the thing, and then she PMed me to thank me and explained a bit of the situation, which i tried to explain here as well because i thought it was important, and then i got mad at people's reactions.
    because well... again, i've been through this. it's really the little things that are vital, and what i had always been told was "all communication with the goal of making other people do something is manipulation", including stuff as simple as a request to do something. so, basically i went "why the fuck can't they just let her have this little thing that would make her feel a little bit less bad?"
     
    • Witnessed x 1
  6. Kathy

    Kathy Well-Known Member

    so manipulation isn't always a bad thing. doing things to cheer someone up when you know it'll be effective is manipulation! It's when it becomes harmful that it's a problem. for future reference, it did edge into pretty harmful stuff in your posts - it's important to remember that unless someone is actively encouraging another person to hurt or kill themselves, nobody else is responsible for the self harm an individual inflicts on themselves. So implying that if people did not do what alix wanted she would kill herself and the blood would be on our hands, is the bad kind of manipulative. But it doesn't mean you're badwrong forever or anything.
    I'm sorry you felt that way, I know I've had strong reactions to things other people didn't understand before. Maybe take some time for yourself and do something nice?
     
    • Agree x 2
    • Like x 1
  7. Ipuntya

    Ipuntya your purple friend

    i have a history of people holding themselves hostage to extract what they want from me, which is why i was pretty uncomfortable about how you two went about doing this.

    i imagine i’m not alone here, either.
     
    • Agree x 9
  8. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    For reality checking: I wiggled some posts from this thread.
     
    • Informative x 5
    • Useful x 2
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