Not sure where else to put this.

i've seen discussions of explicitly informal, community-level responses shut down with "no rules" before, too.

 

I was gonna try to type out a response to this but I'm very tired so basically yes.

 

Ok we get it, you're Mean and Don't Care and you're Very Edgy. Wasn't that supposed to be my schtick? It gets boring and obnoxious really fast, fyi. If you're gonna be a dick at least set some goals with your dickishness.

 

For someone who doesn't care about popularity or influence you sure do reach for a lot of arguments based on "but look how many people think I'm right!!!!!"

 

....I have to say, I am kind of amazed that I managed to piss the dictator off so hard that she's been shitting her pants over it for two days and either has me on ignore or just won't respond when invited to in thread.

 

I literally didn't even think she'd read this thread or care, because my understanding was that it's pretty hard to offend her and I'm a nigh-anonymous account with a whine thread.

 

Admin's gone post ponies make Rules

 

Why limit yourself to one or the other?

 

I don't rly feel like finding the post bc I'm at my brother's house and his cat is chewing on my computer (which is exactly as bizarre as it sounds. wtf, cat?) but I want to second whoever said that "no rules" ends up being "a bunch of informal rules that no one actually agrees on or necessarily knows." I swear, sometimes these things are like playing Mao all over again. I keep waiting for someone to make me draw a card bc I didn't say "happy halloween suicide king" at the right time. (it's not just a kintsugi thing though- this is most online group social things for me, bc brainweird)

edit: for example, I rly don't understand the whole vent threads as "private" spaces thing. like, I get the stuff about the OP controlling the content of the thread and stuff, but I'm confused about how it's apparently rude to look at a thread where someone vagued about you? it makes no sense to me

 

(OP, I'll get out of your thread if you want, but you liked the post so I assumed you didn't know the answer either.)

It's not rude to look at a vent thread. Anyone can do that. It's generally considered rude to begin arguing with someone in their vent thread about something they said, because vent threads in the Holler Closet are so removed from the rest of the site discussion and dedicated as a place to be upset or uncharitable. If I'm throwing glass cookware at the wall, and you approach me to tell me I shouldn't be mad... It's probably not going to de-escalate the situation.

It's accepted practice to approach the person later with an TCHGB thread if you have unresolved issues.

 

To be specific, it started when there was a very sensitive gender discussion going on in a thread (which I think had been split off from a FID thread) and somebody posted a comment on the discussion/their relationship/something like that in their vent thread, and a second person quoted the vent thread post. A lot of people didn't like how something someone said in the vent thread was suddenly pulled into the main discussion. Basically all the other vent thread etiquette came from the idea of "things are expressed in vent threads that are not meant for wider dissection and comment, and that people say things in them that they wouldn't say in 'public' "

 

is it even possible for seebs to frame something in a way that doesn't make it sound like it's all the other people's fault?

 

I liked that post before the edit was made, but with regards to vent thread etiquette: since there are no Official rules, it makes sense that people will come up with informal rules, and it makes sense that people will not know the rules if they aren't clearly stated, and people have different approaches to their threads anyways. I think making a TCHGB thread is a relatively solid approach.

 

I am not surprised, this is more or less how she reacted when I got into a fight with her after the whole BPD anon situation.
(except i was less able to effectively enforce boundaries or maintain points in the face of wall-of-text nitpick derails and wound up being the one who got steamrollered)

I begin to suspect that this is just how she responds to unwanted criticism from any other than a select handful of close friends.

 

That's fair and I agree re: a new thread.

However! :-) Being someone who has had her vent thread screencapped and reposted in a hamhanded attempt to paint her as eeeevil, I happen to think it's rude to come into someone's (my) vent thread and demand that I argue with you then and there. As several people have done. I think it's messy, and entitled, and I have on multiple occasions asked people to leave me alone only to be met with something like, "having considered this request: nah."

What is your proposal for this situation? I'm asking honestly. I've just started being fast and loose with the ignore function. Is that the best I can do? What's to be done when the answer to "leave me alone" is "nah, and also, neener neener you suck"?

 

Doubtful.

 

See, I used to be pretty scared of Seebs, but I'm really not now. She's wordy and pretentious and obnoxious, but...I mean, what's she's gonna do? BAN me??

(In all seriousness, though, I agree.)

First off, I do consider screencapping and reposting a vent thread without prior permission to be bad praxis.
I think people have the right to respond to a post if it's about them; in order for that to go as smoothly as possible, there should be a clear understanding of how/where to respond. In the event that two people attempt to work things out and can't, or refuse to try, I think mutual ignore is a good solution.
I think it's pretty hard to keep shit from going south with a no rules/no penalties thing, though. If person A screencaps and posts something from person B and person B says "Wow can you not" and person A says "Fuck you eat shit", typically that would be the point where a mod would intervene and delete the posts or screenshots or give person A a warning or SOMETHING, but since that doesn't happen here things are entirely reliant on people being self-motivated to be nice people, which doesn't really work.