At least I haven't seen any mention of hitting anyone in the womb with their penis yet. That's usually a classic.
Yeah its v upsetting that sollux isnt doing anything. Guy is rolling in bitches in canon, what the heck?
Goddamn. I'm sad about the lost of explicit gaytimes, but I suppose I can draw to fill in the gaps. I personally vote that Dirk and Hal go for Jake. Because. Personal reasons. Strider Sandwich \>u</*
I have a couple ideas of how I can try to get it to work, and I will post all the dirkhal yaois just for you, Kathy. Because you've earned it. :D
I take offence at everyone thinking Sollux's life is boring when the guy's been getting plenty of action. Hot raunchy wooden desk-shaped action! They have a makeout session every morning. I suppose it makes sense that they haven't done the full sex yet. I mean, splinters. sollux/desk otp. I second (third? ...nth) Calliope and Caliborn arriving together. I love them both, they are the perfect combination of precious cinnamon roll and MuRDER. (omg please make Caliborn's friendship item be something like "Caliborn's shitty animu fanart". What if they have parallel items. "Calliope's adorable fanart"/"Caliborn's shitty animu fanart", "Calliope's shippy self-insert fanfiction"/"Caliborn's homoerotic self-insert fanfiction".)
God Sollux needs to get some kissing going on with someone that's not inanimate. (Karkat because of ship bias.) But really, anyone works. Just. Poor dude. Everyone else is having improbable anime sex on every surface and he's just hanging out sleeping in the classroom.