[nsfw] Iyaan, Karkat-kun: Let's Homestuck some Hentai

Yeah, I have the male pose port, but maybe it's an older one? I'll see what's what, thanks!

Run the main patch again! Sometimes mods will make the patch freak out aka my deal with Fef not being translated.

 

...

Welp.

Sure hope you guys don't mind some ectoincest.

 

... :D

 

I AM HERE FOR THIS
(Don't even know which pairing, but considering my ships are pretty much beta ot4, alpha ot4, ot8, we're good no matter what.)

 

Did Dave/Dirk finally happen?

 

A new day, and you who we haven't been yet? Dirk.



And look, there's Hal waiting for us as usual. Where does he go at night? Apparently he lives in the arcade.

And then he just ran off without saying hi? Rude. Well, let's go to school, maybe get some work done for club and --



!?

*thump*



Dude just straight up came out of nowhere to sock Dirk in the stomach. No option to fight back, or say anything, just PUNCH.

Thanks, Caliborn. *wheeze* Nice to see you too.



Sure. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm bleeding internally, but why not. Fuck my hot butt in this courtyard, uguu.



Don't strain your circuits being so enthusiastic, Hal.



Hey, Jane. I'm not tired, just having a hella busy morning. But yeah, please, my lower back is --



Never mind.



Sure.



So what's this I hear about you fucking our sensei, bro? I'm the last person who has the right to lecture others on their sex lives, but you know that's not gonna last, right?

Gonna keep your lips sealed? Alright, you know where to find me if you need me.



Well, hello to you too. I'd love to believe you're being romantic, Hal, but the sweaty pony dreamboat in the corner is hard not to notice. But hell, if you wanna put on a show, who am I to stop you.



I'd like to, Jane, but people won't stop coming up to me and talking to me and I'm starting to get that itchy feeling that comes from not being a hella mysterious loner with a tragic past, so if you'll excuse me.



That's what they tell me, Jake.



Startin' to feel a little claustrophobic, Tavros, not gonna lie.

 

It's a good thing that Hal doesn't have the Evil trait, considering how popular Dirk seems to be today.

 

Luckily, even if he did have the evil trait, he wouldn't go murder mode just for people talking to him. UNluckily, he's jealous and competitive, which means anytime he sees someone talking to Dirk, bro has to come up and interrupt. He does it constantly, making having any interactions somewhat of a chore. @_@

 

is his incredible clinginess from a specific trait or is it just how they ended up combining in him? Because like vriska and feferi were also having sex a LOT in a lot of weird places, but not even remotely this much. And no other couple is remotely this bad.

 

I think it's the combo of Jealous + Perverted + Wild. He has no problems having sex wherever, gets horny more often, and also they have Perfect sex chemistry, which is apparently addicting.

 

Quick! Flashstep to the statue before someone else tries to be friends with us!



Business as usual. Today Karkat hung a giant banner over the classroom blackboard with the words "I WANT TO BREAK UP, TAVROS." He was throwing confetti.



....

Well that explains why Hal keeps talking to Tavros when he's not riding my jock. Guess this is an open relationship then.



Looks like Equius already forgave Eridan for cheating on him.



Looks like Jane broke up with Dave or vice versa. And Rose? Huh. Also, that's a terrible thing to think about Jane, Davepeta, you stop that.



Looks like Dave's the king of hentai mountain now. Six relationships, and he's fucked some of the others too.



Depends. Are you about to give yourself more of an ulcer yelling at me to study some more?



Oh. Thanks. What did I do this time? Why is everyone stopping me in the halls to kiss my ass today?



Just a little confused why everyone's constantly wanting to talk to me. Additionally, what the fuck, Cal? I get you have some weird fuckin' hatemance going on with Karkat, but that's not my deal. If you like me, you need to hold my hand and tenderly whisper sweet nothings. Whisper sweetly to me, Cal. Let's make shoujo bubbles appear.



The next time you try to start shit with me, I'm gonna read love poetry to you until you puke glitter.



What? Oh. Sure thing, princess, it's starting to get kinda crowded in here.



You're welcome.



You're joking, right?



That it is, Davepeta. I just prefer naked calisthenics to throwing a ball around.



I'm not sure what that means, but thank you?



As I was just telling the unholy neon homunculus next to you, I get plenty of exercise. Don't make me show off my abs.



Jake is the third person to offer to give Dirk a massage today. Things have been happening so fast I can't even keep up with screenshots.

What is HAPPENING

 

Dirk has been flaunting that choice ass around so much (in stereo, no less) during his expeditions with Hal that now everyone wants to feel it for themselves. Consensually, of course.

 

Oh dear sweet precious Nepeta...
Also jeez, Caliborn! Try not to make your hate-crush so glaringly obvious! Poor Dirk, though :c He's too popular for his own good.

 

Nepeta sees people making out, and pulls out her shipping grid to doodle possibilities. She completely misses the intercourse happening all around her.

 

The roof. Surely the roof will give us some time alone.



Fuck. Cal, I'm really not in the mood to do this hatemance boxstep you're so keen on. Go away.



Why does this tea smell like catnip?



You know this isn't how you play hard to get, right, Cal? Get on my level.



Jesus, fine. If we exercise, does that mean people will finally stop lecturing me about it every time I enter a goddamn room?



Why does this smell like cake batter?



I can see why you might think that, but consider this: no.



Don't get pissed at me just because Dave can only get it up when he sees me fucking Hal, Terezi.



Good timing. Why don't we something something baseball metaphor, who cares, fuck me.



Or not. Hello, Davepeta.

And then they talked about cream puffs but I couldn't capture it in time.



I saw your grade from the academic assessment, Jake. You'll need a miracle in tight black pants. Luckily, I know a guy.

The guy is me.



What can I say? I have a way of teaching cute dorks with more enthusiasm than sense, apparently.

Right, maybe we can get some work done in the club room.



I do, Hal. I didn't write it into your programming but it happened all the same, and I've spent long enough wondering about the implications of it all in between our rounds of vigorous buttsex.

Hello again, Jane. What's up?



Should I give you a moment alone?



Embrace me hard, big boy. Embrace me from behind and pull my hair a little.



Yes.
Hell yes.
Hell.
Fucking.
Yes.



...yeah. I know, Dave. You haven't exactly been subtle.

Maybe it's wrong. Maybe it's fucked up, but yes. We're doing it, bro. We're making this happen.



Karkat's gonna blow a gasket. He just waxed these floors.



What. Liked what you saw?

But then Karkat stormed in.



I tried to stop him, Karkat, but he came all over your floor screaming your name. Might wanna do something about that, see ya.

 

Okay I just have to say it... Sollux looks like he's rubbing his nipples a la South Park Cable Company in the statue picture.

 

Dave is the least subtle.

 

Best thing to wake up too

 

... oh dave, honey, how will you protect hussie-sensei from getting horribly fired if this is your idea of subtlety?