[nsfw] Iyaan, Karkat-kun: Let's Homestuck some Hentai

Aradia probably has to deal with Damara on a regular basis. She's probably just sick of that sort of thing.

 

Yeah, I have no idea what Vriska did to Aradia, but Aradia has max hate for her according to that status.

Perhaps it's time to....MAKE HER PAY

 

Well, Vriska ranks higher than Aradia in strength, so maybe a trip to the gym first. Provided the strength stat is what most heavily factors into the outcome of fights.

 

I downloaded a mod last night that made my game all fucky so I'm gonna try to fix it. May or may not update today, we shall see.

 

Ruevian, don't you know to always mess with a copy first ::3

 

Well, I got it as fixed as it's gonna be. LET'S GO TO SCHOOL.



And...Vriska is...already waiting for us. Huh. Hey, bay-be.



Yeah, I'm definitely convinced you were just hanging out by the bus or train station, completely not waiting for me. Head patting vengeance!



WE HAD ANAL SEX IN THE GYM, VRISKA, I THINK THAT SHIP HAS SAILED.



Or what? Wait, don't...don't answer that. I LOVE YOU, MY LITTLE CUDDLEFISH



Good. Now let's see haul our basses to shoal!



Oh, there's Eridan. Well, we're Feferi, and Feferi isn't a 8luh 8luh huge 8itch, so let's see if we can smooth things over after kicking his ass.

HEY ERIDAN! Forgive me?



Soooo....we'll put you down for a definite "maybe."



Hey, Rose. I need someone mature and level-headed to talk to!



38(

Well that's just fin! Feferi will just go to her girlfriend for some coddamned respect!







You're giving me reel mixed messages here, Vriska.



What? Oh, sure. Let's try to undo some of the lasting psychological damage our girlfriend has done to him.



Hey, little guppy. Let's talk!



Oh honey, if you only knew.

 

Let's try apologizing to Eridan again.



Nothing he couldn't forgive after making me apologize twice. Ugh, fine, where's the other nerd all bent out of shape.



Shore. I'm sorry I tidally kicked your bass in front of everybody.



Hook!? How dare you use fish puns while you're being a tidal DICK!

This is an outrage. Let's go talk to the magic statue and see if there's anyone in this entire school who won't be a HUGE DOWNER to talk to! Cod, you beat up a couple of nerds and it's like the fucking Scarlet Letter up in here...



Well, Hussie likes us. Dave is curious. Lots of people are still scarred by the impromptu sex education in the gym...

Oh hey, Gamzee walked by to get some strife practice in. Let's say hi!



Aw, hey, Clamzee! So nice to talk to someone who can give me a smile that's not Vriska! I know maybe I might have made you uncomfortable yesterday so how about a massage?




You should sea the deep tissue massages I give my massive eldritch mom! This is easy mode!

Hmm, Jade doesn't seem to hate us! Let's go glub at her!



I don't wanna hear that from you, Princess Narcolepsy.

Oh hey, it's class. And then lunch! Hey, bouys and gills, let's eat together!



Good, only the NON jerks came. Here, Jane, try some of these salmon eyes!



So have you ever thought about adding more fish to your cake?



I know how you feel, Jade. Luckily all of my swimming and hauling around dead sea creatures has made me SWOLE AS ALL FUCK.



WHAL--E BLUBB--ER FOR ---------EV-----ERYON---E!!!!

After lunch, it's time to get ready for swim class, which is of course Fef's FAVORITE class. And what do we see but the bright herald of tight yellow pants himself!



Oh, Jake! You're SO NICE! We're best chums forever! Let me help you with homework!



Good! Maybe Vriska won't murder you terribly.

Oh, hang on, I smell the scent of a big blue BABY named JOHN EGBERT.



Yeah, that's what I THOUGHT.

Equius, can you believe this seahorseshit??? Everyone's acting like I'm a huge beach!



......

Okay, that's it. You're going on the list.

 

Omfg equius

 

Stomping off towards the pool, we see Terezi hanging out in the cafeteria. Let's say hi!



Hey, wow, relax! I'm just here to say hi and make a little small talk, I promise not to beat you up.



Whale, yeah, anyone who dresses like you do is probably doing it on porpoise. Why are you so nervous, anyway?



!!!

Vriska, is...are YOU responsible for everyone not wanting to talk to me? You better not be threatening people behind my back! Get along with everyone!



...I don't know what I expected.

Aradia, I see you lurking. Please tell me you don't hate me.



I need a bottle of scotch and non-creepy girlfriend, but I'll settle for some study time with you.



All you've talked about for the past 10 minutes is funerary rights.

Oh! Fight music! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!



Looks like Equius and Karkat are at it again. Come on, buoys, this is no way to flirt!



Whoops, Karkat lost this time. Let's go pick him up and dust him off...



I'm sorry you had to be humiliated by a sweaty horse lover wearing a blue speedo. You'll get him next time, champ!



38( Okay. Let's go check some statuses...



Wow, John, that's a shell of a reversal from hating me! But...oh dear, somehow we've incurred some hate points from Vriska. And Terezi DEFINITELY hates me. Aradia probably only wants me because it'd piss off Vriska.



aka Karkat has a pitch crush.



Uh oh.

 

Okay, I actually burst out laughing at the first Equius part. Fortunately, J is in the shower so I didn't have to explain what I was laughing at. :'D

 

Fef ought to dump Vriska in favor of that cute ram girl (no I'm not trying to push one of my favorite rarepairs why would you think that)

 

AraFef is a rarepair? I see a fair bit of it. Not that I'm complaining about that, it's my second-favorite ship for Aradia, but I'm not sure it's a rarepair exactly. </probably nitpicking>

 

Nonononono, Vriska'll try and kill her if she does that! Fef needs to study hard and get brain swole, and THEN she can dump Vriska for that cute ram girl.

 

Huh, what happens if a character fends off a Yandere attack? Would they try again, or is it a one and done kinda deal?

 

This is definitely true but can I just say that "brain swole" is the best phrase?

 

I have no idea, actually. In my previous games, murders just happened. o_o

 

(ಠ_ಠ' ) This doesn't feel like it's gonna end good you guys.

Vriska and Gamzee are the only ones with the Evil trait, correct? So, when Vriska makes herself some fish fillet we should probably gently shove those two at each other. For science.

 

nah, man, let's kill Vriska if she tries to hurt us or whoever we hook up with next.

 

Being Wise and Lucky are what save you from Yandere attacks, I think. Fef's Lucky, but so is Vriska and luck's her thing anyways, so I wouldn't count on that. Last time we checked, Fef was ranked 16th out of 21 in wisdom, but we did spend the day studying hard, so. Maybe we an manage it?