NSFW RP: consent, minors, and other boundaries

Also, for definitions and how I apply them to RP:

SFW: Moderate kissing/intimacy (hugs and the like), mild violence, mild swearing
NSFW: Heavy intimacy (including groping or mild sexual content a la 'and then they banged'), heavy violence or mild gore, copious amounts of swearing and/or violent rhetoric
Extreme/18+: Heavy gore, extremely detailed sexual activity, heavily detailed death scenes, most vivid depictions of self-harm or suicide, anything involving vivid depictions of sexual assault

I think that the level of detail given in something is important here. "She lost an arm" is SFW, "She had her arm brutally ripped off and blood gushed everywhere" is NSFW, and a three paragraph description of flesh ripping and blood spilling is 18+.

 

Well, I'm also super not OK with @KathyGaele making a thread about how I should run my game that she does not have to play if she doesn't want to. She can do that if she wants but I won't participate nor will it change the way I run my game.

 

I posted the thing about the rules because it's about the rules and also explicitly about consent.

 

And yet, this is somehow not a problem for the people who are actually in the game.

I'm sorry you don't like my rules. Don't play my game.

If you had come to me and said, "have you considered the implications of this language" I'd be willing to discuss it but not right now, and certainly not here.

 

You told me to take up the thing with SPR with Swirl, I wasn't talking about that. I'm telling you that the boundaries you set for your game are controlling, alarming, and specifically prioritize your comfort while silencing any objections from players - ongoing or potential.

Here's a suggestion for a site-wide boundary, a thing that can be generally understood to be the acceptable line, with understanding that unless one of the parties is a minor, it can be negotiated to fit individual comfort levels:

- It is not appropriate to engage minors in speculative conversation about sexual anatomy. It's not appropriate to engage anyone in speculative conversation about sexual anatomy or acts without first obtaining their consent. There is a difference between explaining biology in an educational way and a speculative conversation about sexual anatomy. Explanation of what masturbation is vs inviting conversation on effective ways to do so

Suggestions for people worried they may cross boundaries/have crossed boundaries:
Check. If someone goes quiet, doesn't respond to what you're saying, or displays patterns of conflict avoidance, check if they are uncomfortable. Suggestions for ways to do so: "Are you alright? I want to check I haven't accidentally crossed a boundary."

 

If you don't want to be part of it, don't.

That should take care of the consent problem. I am not obliged to run my game in a way that every single person on this site will like or approve of. That's not even possible.

 

Hey now, some 20 year olds are confused and scared at the IDEA of condoms :P
I see where you're coming from with this.

See! Slight variance but only slight. I think only because PR went into more detail.

I will say that I like switching things into the movie rating system because it's got all sorts of tags!
SFW - G
NSFW - R
18+ - NC17 / XXX

 

Hey I'm a player and I've been able to have a ton of good conversations with Kiri about boundaries. We've got a section of the WT discord for ooc hashing stuff out! I like rping with CT and don't need you defending my boundaries.

 

I'm glad!

Also, mods and participants, can the argument be split from the policy discussion? It doesn't have to be a TCHGB thread if all involved parties don't consent to that. I'm just finding it difficult to follow the policy discussion around the argument posts.

 

The rules I set for MY GAME were set after long and in some situations difficult conversations between me and the other players. I listen to my players.

You're not one of them.

 

I... am pretty sure at this point we've moved past that. It seems completely unhelpful to needle in on one user while all the rest of us are trying to figure out how the ruleset is going to work. If anything it's distracting! Like, if there's a problem with a specific user I thought we didn't do the whole Crucify Them In a TSM Thread thing?

Which is fair, but mostly because we couldn't see the problem at the time. Once it was explained everyone started working on a solution. I thought that was what we were doing?

 

i am in the weirdmaggedon tango rp, and i roleplay with cT in the shitposting rave. kathy does not speak for me, and i would appreciate it if she would step the fuck off.

 

I'm not going to engage with you in private. I'm certainly not going too after this in which you've just told me and anyone else who might have considered playing your game "don't like it, tough luck." You are being incredibly dismissive of every single thing. Someone has discomfort with you and isn't comfortable talking to you about it themselves? Well, you can't do anything about it if they won't talk to you. I have discomfort and attempt to talk to you about it myself? You dismiss me out of hand, don't address my points, and dismiss me as I'm not an active player while ignoring the fact that I said I was wanting to be before I read your rules and was scared by them.
I'm talking about myself, not petra, not unknown.

 

Right but you were able to not join the game! There's no game that's going to be perfect or even comfortable for everyone.

 

This is a good idea aaand someone other than me should probably do it because I'm like overwhelmed a bit / headache city.

Also take care of yourself @Beldaran , you've been super helpful.

 

Okay!
I have some vague thoughts about OOC communication not always being right on kintsugi bc it was just someone quickly checking in on discord or something and someone misinterpretes the implied next action after a scene fades out that might cause problems?
Also bc I don't always actually think about what might happen next when I maneuver a character out of the rave with someone else's character heh

I think that may work! Thanks for working so hard on coming up with a solution with us :)

 

I'm not talking about the game itself petra i'm talking about the rules which have discouraged me and at least one other prospective player from engaging because they specifically priortize CT's comfort over anyone else's.

I'm tapping out for now because being addressed like I'm fucking crazy for pointing out that there's extremely uncomfortable boundary shit going on in establishing post that's mandatory to engage with if you want to engage with an activity that's one of the main draws for the forum is fucking me up

 

there is no such thing as a rp that fits literally everyone's tastes and boundaries, and is unfair to expect any rp to cater to literally everyone at once. if you don't like how a rp is set up, don't join it. it's that simple. people aren't oppressing you by making rps you can't join.