NSFW RP: consent, minors, and other boundaries

But all the characters are adults. I don't get it. Nobody is writing sex scenes with minor rpers?

 

Like, are you upset at 'portraying a sexual relationship' or 'portraying a relationship that is sexual between the characters but that neither rper wants to get sexual with in actually playing because of the rper age gap among other things'. And are you upset with two adult rpers with adult characters doing a fade-to-black in a space where minors also play, aka the spr?

 

I also can't think of any examples where an underage and an overage character are having sex, and that's part of what's throwing me off majorly. Please try to provide specific examples.

 

By that logic we have to ban all rp of adult characters in relationships that are sexual even if the sexual element is not rped between rpers who do not know each other in person and have confirmed that nobody is a minor, though?

 

I think there might be some people who have done fade-to-blacks with underage rpers, but I literally haven't seen any of the stuff Kelt is saying has happened and they refuse to provide examples and it's super distressing me. You can't say 'i've seen x' and then refuse to show where x is. It's super hard to deal with!

 

Right. But right now it feels like Kelt is calling out everyone because they're unwilling to point even in the direction of where the problem is.

 

Okay. I think there's some blur going on here so I'm just going to ask @keltka ...

What do you consider nsfw? What do you consider sfw? What do you consider 18+? What age are you defining underage/overage around? What do you consider sfw roleplay with a sexual bent?

More specific questions based around me, in specific, so that you don't have to worry about offending anyone else. What do you consider inappropriate examples of xenobiological sex ed? If my character @Naft talked about how her species lays eggs from the head and incubates eggs with the hair so female hekatons have prehensile hair, to hold and lay the eggs, is that sfw because it's not something that registers as a fetish? If a troll talks about 'oh we don't do internal fertilization, blah blah mother grub' is that okay?

 

Paraphrasing of what I've seen happening so far


"Uhhhh so guys I'm worried that a bad thing has been happening, can we not"

"Huh? I've been involved in the places where the thing happens, but I haven't seen anything that bad happen. Did I miss the thing happening, am I letting people around me get hurt? Or are you referring to a thing somewhere else that you think we could do if we don't establish a rule against it?"

"No, look, I don't know for sure if it was that bad, I don't want to point fingers and get everyone all upset, can we just establish a rule and not do it -- maybe not do it again?"

"UH??? We need to know (a) if this is happening anywhere and (b) if so who's doing it. And we need to be careful about any rules we make because making too-restrictive rules, or rules that don't actually address the problem in question, just cause more problems and more hurt."

and the lack of specification is amping up anxiety like crazy, and the expressions of anxiety are discouraging anyone who might have specifics from speaking up

 

Hmmm. Are they getting told why it's wrong to be uncomfortable with it (which I don't think is acceptable to police) or are they getting told why their discomfort alone isn't enough to make a rule around?

 

Question: do other people actually like... think about what happens after a fade-to-black? Because personally, that functions as the [END SCENE] on a script, and the characters in question could be getting ice cream. I don't really think about the sex they're having or not having, which might be why the thing confuses me so much-- it's functionally the same as the credits rolling following the kiss scene at the end of the movie.

Sex is implied, yes. But I also share absolutely no... identity, I guess? With my characters. And I'm willing to go with "no fade-to-blacks with minors" even though I'm... pretty sure that has only happened twice? (And for honesty's sake: yes I was one of the times, and I figured that 'fade to black' was a pretty good nonsexual cut for 'two characters getting involved'. It's fine if that makes people uncomfortable and I understand completely, but if the other rper is uncomfortable with the fact that it happened, I really do apologize. I didn't mean for it to come off in a predatory way and I'm sorry if I took advantage of you.)

As for actual, full on sexual intercourse in rp? As far as I'm aware, it hasn't happened in DT, WT, or the SPR. I'm not positive about other roleplay forums, but in those three cases, I'm pretty certain about saying it hasn't.

 

I mean DT has gotten pretty steamy, but I think that may have been off-site?

 

I´ll say sex that doesn´t actually get written is no sex.

The problem is with what people here are defining as "sex stuff" Which is among other things, sex that doesn´t get written, only implied to have happened, and appearantly, A relationship that is implied to have again, never written, sex in it at all, ever. Both of which I just fundamentally disagree with.

it also takes away the ability of minors to approach Just Romantic stuff in any way, even by way of not actually doing any of it, just writing a character doing it.

I think it has happened in DT BUT DT is 18+, we ask ages before people join so. yeah.

 

Clarification: Full on sex between two roleplayers that were a minor and adult OOC. We already have DT marked as 18+ and all sexytimes spoilered.

 

Wowie this is some anti bs
Like, there is no way to assure if someone is a minor or not, like legit how is this different from someone catastrophising over minors maybe reading a fic.

Don't like don't read is a thing, yo. It is my responsibility to ask if someone is a minor but not my fault if they lie, hell I can guarantee that minors will go into any nsfw forum you make.

This is a longstanding issue with online rp, not kintsugi specific.

Also my god, way to kick up anxiety and ruin some people's days. Just point the fucking thing out

Ps if minor/adult situations written is badwrong for minors to maybe read... what about ita?

 

@Petra I'm really sorry but right now I'm kind of having a breakdown after fielding a bunch of questions from all sides and I really think I need to tap out for a bit
I'd like to mention that I do think you're really cool and I'm sorry for causing you distress because that shit fucking Sucks