Out of context quotes thread

Last time I posted a Schlock Mercenary quote someone told me that was cheating. I support this continued cheating. :::PPP

 

I'm pretty sure that someone was me. :P

 

I DEFEATED THE PAPERCRAFT

 

"You can't keep up. The good news is that the multiplicity of important goddesses and gods is related to the great respect seen in the center of the little book cases."

 

dammit, you beat me.

 

"Capitalism: the closest you can get to anally fisting a pig to death in Homestuck"

"She would set a wolfman on fire, but she wouldn't need a music box."

"Beyonce is to Nicki Minaj as a ball-jointed doll is to an evil puppet."

 

My garbage can, talking about his garbage husband!

 

But would the hamster eat the mice, is the real question here.

 

I'm both rly proud and deeply ashamed of that one, tbqh

 

@thegrimsqueaker that is the appropriate response, I think

 

"how do you crit success a pregnancy"

 

Padme's pregnancy in Revenge of the Sith that happened so fast that my mom said in the middle of the movie, "Has she been eating Miracle-Gro?" :::PPP

 

Two things that I encountered in the wild that people were presumably paid to write and print:

 

You were born in July, right? I feel like you should be able to turn the sun off