Out of context quotes thread

[11:49:51 PM] Nick: you may be a clean lizard but you're a filthy enabler

 

On 9/3/16, at 9:40 PM, JOHN IS A BASTARD MAN wrote:
> right before dualscar comes out w the contract she kisses him on the cheek and tells him hes a very handsome young man. like a hot grandma but grosser

 

my mom has finally conquere the income taxes from 2011

 

"I don't know how she said that without a white hood spontaneously appearing on her head."

 

On 9/4/16, at 12:46 PM, JOHN IS A BASTARD MAN wrote:
> we dont say the p*anut word in here

 

"The customers can smell weakness, and they like it."
"It smells like pumpkin spice."

 

@mek

 

*places hat on vampire* "i halp"

 

"A man bought 71 spiral notebooks for $6. A woman bought 110 folders for $4. I hope they meet each other. I would like to see the child of two math problem characters."

 

@baskerville

 

i would also like to know where they are shopping, bc holy shit.

 

[9/4/16, 11:44:14 PM] Mek: You have no one to blame but yourself, and also me

 

"That elevator is missing the 14th floor rather than the usual 13th. Looks like superstition is inflating. Fucking gentrification!"

 

[9/4/16, 9:23:29 PM] space gay: oh I thought it said I bet my betta fish could kick my ass
[9/4/16, 9:23:45 PM] space gay: because then I was going to say I bet any betta fish could kick my ass

 

"Built Ford Tough is not an appropriate description for a British man."