Out of context quotes thread

@cryptoThelematrix:
Extreme catte lesbianism

 

Spoiler: NSFW

 

"I'm pretty sure it's not physically possible for dogs to doorknob"

 

to what???

 

"Grandpa just turns into a furry"

"Have you ever been in a Corvette? It's like putting on a pair of underwear."

 

Doorknob. As in opening doors with doorknobs.

Cats can do it-they sort of...swing off the doorknob. And the police dog we're fostering can open doors with handles and some types of gates. Including the type of gate the police dog compound uses to keep the dogs in the pens, which resulted in hilarity when she was staying at the dog compound-she let all the dogs out.
And then when asked how she got out, she went and opened all the gates again.

 

Spoiler: NSFW?

 

Should probably see a doctor about that.

 

"It's official. Maple syrup is breakfast herpes."

 

Spoiler: Context makes it funnier

This is from Ace Attorney. This occurred during a murder trial.

 

Somewhere, Hearts Boxcars pounds the keyboard, reiterating his demands that 'YOU KISS THAT GIRL THIS INSTANT'


This post has always said kiss no typos here. Yesirree

 

"He's got America in his mouth and Me-Undies on his ass. He's ready for anything."

 

Context is... kinda obvious, but it was still funny.