Out of context quotes thread

"all you need to know is harry is a flamingo but the flamingo snape has in his closet is not harry"

 

"basically you make sweet, sweet love to the concept of airtight packaging"

 

"he doesn't scream, god, he murders people with pillows quietly like batman"

 

me: y'aint
spouse: ????????????????????
me: y'aint doin' it right
spouse: ???????????????????????????????????????
me: ... YOU KNOW THIS WORD, I'VE SAID THIS WORD BEFORE. IT'S LIKE Y'ALL'D'VE!
spouse, with increasing horror: ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
me: for fucks sake, it's "you ain't", "you all would have", and you have totally heard these words before.
spouse: i know, i'm just going red because i remembered in a rush, i think i'd been blocking it out somehow before now

 

I laughed so hard at this I had to explain to our visiting New Jersey friend "y'ain't" and "y'all'd've" so I could explain why I was laughing.

 

@wixbloom "when are they gonna invite me to sell my ears to a demon"

 

"counterpoint: if you don’t get to dress like someone ran a magical thrift shop through a rototiller and frankensteined the pieces back together what’s the god-damned point of being a wizard"
- Rincewind, probably