Out of context quotes thread

I love how many of these are from whatif

 

i'm going through whatif and just quoting anything weird that i'm sure hasn't been posted yet

 

"This one is an actual paper and not a trailer for a terrible movie, I promise."






"Besides the obvious problems with gathering that many animals in one place, the fireflies would block each others' light."

"Technically, Pluto is an arachnid."

"If Star Wars had just used the other kind of planet, we could use its name for them and solve this problem."

"Come to think of it, do our rainbows have one pot of gold or two?"




(captioning a chart of bird wings) "Scary, nuclear-armed falcons"



"a phenomenon familiar to both glider pilots and fans of the Animorphs book series."

"if anyone wants to try to sneak a pizza into a centrifuge, go for it."



"We generally try to keep the committees-to-planets ratio below 3."

"because it's fun to imagine someone trying to solve traffic jams by using a bulldozer to push more cars into them."



"GREAT. YOU GOT THE HIGGS BOSON WET AND IT DISSOLVED."

 

"Why are you trying to buy industrial infinitely-dense objects? Why is that something you actually searched for?"






"Do you think there's life around other spiders?"

(in an explanation about lenses) "MYSTERY SMOOSHER"

"My résumé says étendue is my forté."

captioned "Today's weather forecast is very weird"

 

me, discussing her proposed animation final with a friend: THERE ARE NO ANIMAL SIDEKICKS IN PORN

 

tA-Today at 5:08 PM
(although, to be fair- i would also holler at someone if my chicks weren't naked enough after i'd paid top chicken dollar for appropriately naked chickens)

 

"Violating conservation of energy happens a lot in fetish porn."

 

Spoiler: images

 

i know I'm posting a lot but these are funny

 

UPDATE:

 

Date a girl who doubles as a haunted house.

 

Where we're going, we don't need these neoliberal roads

 

"The goats are dancing, and making more goats as they dance."