Out of context quotes thread

"Oh Dirk, you innocent bean"

 

It just feels less "festive" and more LOOK HOW MUCH MONEY I CAN AFFORD TO WASTE ON MY ELECTRIC BILL!! EAT A DICK, CRAIG!! WHO'S THE CHEAPSKATE NOW?!

 

Wow, I really missed out on a lot of formative experiences when I skipped that episode. I think my favorite thing is how happy they look.

 

"Samantha sobs and listens to the crash man theme without gay sex"

 

"barf now, polish later"

 

"All right, hold on -- I'm eliminating world hunger, and poverty, and basically every social ill in the world. And you're eliminating disease, and sickness, and all of the physical ills. And somehow we're both villains?"
"Hey, I'm not the one eliminating free will."
"It's for their own good!"
"That's what every villain ever has said!"
"They're happier that way, because I told them to be."

 

For the record (still no context): I'm not going to eliminate free will, I'm just going to eliminate any desire to usurp me as king of the world, or to create competing governments.

 

Just that one specific sort of want! Infinity minus one is practically the same as infinity.

 

"i thought you loved me"
"I THOUGHT YOU DID TOO BUT THEN YOU SUCKED MY DICK LIKE YOU WERE AN INDUSTRIAL GRADE SHOP VAC FIGHTING A HORDE OF JELLO"

 

[10:59:31 PM] Avery Weird: V:
[10:59:43 PM] Avery Weird: he scream at own kink

 

That's my kink

 

“Congratulations, by the way, on not being a bastard and welcome to our small but interestingly inbred family.”

 

"I was gonna say jam was romantic too
But you didn't give me enough time : ("

 

"The game doesn't think that juggling is a bad habit"
"Neither is jousting..."
"Jousting is a really bad habit"

 

It’s not really a bad guy bar without ways to kill people all over the place. My favorite are the cheesesticks.

 

My armor’s stealth abilities are top notch. I think Good Doctor once mentioned they needed to be for some reason. Something about a natural tendency to draw attention, which is nonsense. I’m a horrible artist.