Out of context quotes thread

"that's egg appropriation, you dirty motherfucker. just wait til i get tumblr on the line."

 

not that jellyfish actually make good babysitters.


Edit: Goddamnit I got ninja'd

 

the thing about being a grunklefucker is worrying about whether the middle aged men you chat with on line are really 14 year old girls...

 

but imagine the exercise routine of warming up by jogging up the escalator for an hour

 

context because it was hilarious.

so my friend Nikkita and her boyfriend George came over to watch the Harry Potters and she was like "When I was younger I totally wanted to marry Fred. BUT THEN FRED DIED."
and then George was like "Well you could still marry George"
and then there was an awkward silence

I was like "Did I just witness a proposal?"

 

this is the kind of thing girls say before you find them floating naked in hotel pools full of firewater and diazepam

 

but by then of course we're screwing each other because really what else do you do in a situation like that with that kind of stress

 

Spoiler: I can't leave it without source

 

It is really, really weird to be in a situation where Jamethiel Knorth is being the voice of caution. --@Morven

 

YOU CAN'T NUKE A BIG MAC, IT HAS SALAD ON IT.

 

"Woah, you can punch them!"
"Cool, really?"
"Yeah! You can punch the alligators!"
"Oh, I thought you meant the rocks."

 

Stick the smoketailthing in the pelvis?

 

...Yep.

And darn it, now I want to know if a genie's tail can be tied in a knot around something without injuring him. /buries face in hands