Out of context quotes thread

What I’m trying to say is that I am feeling very drained, but if I must bleed into something, I’m glad it was a cake.

 

@Pumpkageist: OH CONGRATS YOU CAN MANIPULATE PUMPKAS

 

all hail the foks of self care

 

This is how I die. Slowly, of heart failure, because you keep. Being. Incredible!

 

@keltena

 

"he isn't eggmode, he's so deep in the closet he crawled back up the chicken"

 

she wasn't sure whether 'whale ghost birthday cake birthday cake pirate ship cactus-wearing-a-sombrero' was the response she wanted or not.

 

"Which helps explain why so many people cheat on taxes, inflate insurance claims, and steal Post-it Notes from the office.

Or try to steal designer handbags via bulldozer."

 

Spoiler: nsfw-ish?

 

@Pumpkageist: as long as the bottle gets luv it prolly doesn't care that the stories are not age-appropriate.

 

“At the risk of sounding crass, I would cause widespread property damage for that booty.”

 

“What if he’s a pomegranate advocate? What if they’re his friends?”