Out of context quotes thread

Camelot would have been saved if Arthur just. Fucked. That. Squirrel.

 

NCAA Basketball, a (former) rule which states that you cannot dunk a dead ball - i.e., when the game is not in play. It's a technical foul.
However, this includes the 20 minute warmup before the game, which is not only kind of weird, pointless, and lame... but also has the potential to lead to a penalty shot, and thus scoring, occurring before the game has actually begun.

 

“Okay. I’m good at flying, why can’t I be Mothman?”

 

"Be mysterious. Tell them you did what you had to do."

"So what? I stabbed myself in the dick?"

"You did what you had to do."

 

What in the name of Jesus's left ass cheek do you expect me to promote Captain America to, Captain fucking PLANET?

 

“The t-shirts are a state of mind. They’re made of willpower.”

 

And then there’s the fact that Mrs. Guerin apparently wanted her cat to grow up to be a stripper

 

"I can always just make corpses"

 

"Make sure to follow for more and bigger contests (probably with less bananas)!"

"Life, universe, everything... but bananas."

 

So how is Jake the Inexplicably Trustworthy Yet Slowly Decaying Pineapple different from canon, again?