Outside my comfort zone...

Discussion in 'Howdy there!' started by crashXtheXsystem, Dec 30, 2018.

  1. crashXtheXsystem

    crashXtheXsystem New Member

    Hey, thought I'd introduce myself or something before I tried to dive into forum culture. All the social anxiety and need for scripting means I'm trying to feel my way along to prevent breaking rules.

    When I'm feeling brave, I go by Crash. I'm 36. She/her.

    Someone referred me here, because I'm sorting through a mess of past experiences that were not, in fact, either normal or healthy, and I have no idea where to put all of it.

    Outside of that, I'm a writer, a gamer, engaged to the love of my life (after 2 very not good false starts, including a 12 year marriage), and my house is full of 4 cats.

    I have blue hair that I just chopped off and shaved. I am far too tattooed. I have a lot of piercings. I have a weirdly professional job that doesn't care about both those other things, because I'm actually really good at it.

    I'm frustratingly empathetic, annoyingly enthusiastic, and way too verbose for my own good.

    Oh. And there's a not-zero chance I'm a Changeling.

    Hello. And all that.
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2018
    • Like x 4
  2. Saro

    Saro Where is wizard hut

    Hey there. Forum culture is generally pretty open, so don't worry too much, and ask for help or clarification if you want.

    There's a lot of stuff and people interested in it - try Make It So or Fan Town for writing or gaming related talk. Lots of fun to be had in General Chatter too, like the chat thread or the pet thread.
    • Agree x 2
  3. Lebesgue Integreat

    Lebesgue Integreat Lesbian Intrigue

    Hello! I definitely feel you on the anxiety and scripting, that's me pretty much always.

    Would you be from the Winter Court or the Summer Court as a Changeling?
    • Like x 1
  4. crashXtheXsystem

    crashXtheXsystem New Member


    I started as a Summer courtier. Got its wreath tattooed on my arm.

    Now, though? I am entirely Southern.

    And, as it turns out, I already had the Southern Phoenix tattooed on my side. Apparently fate knew better than I did.

    And hi!

    I'm glad it jives in other entity's brains.
    • Like x 2
  5. crashXtheXsystem

    crashXtheXsystem New Member

    ETA: I mostly assume everyone knows this shit, but since explanation is good...

    Oh. I should likely not assume everyone speaks the language of Lost.

    Changeling: the Lost is the game of my soul. For reasons.

    Summer court is the court of Wrath.

    Southern court though? It's the court of Ecstasy.

    And symbolism, and all that.
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2018
    • Informative x 3
  6. crashXtheXsystem

    crashXtheXsystem New Member

    Thank you!!

    I'm gonna toe-dip, bit by bit. Appreciate the welcome.
    • Like x 2
  7. vuatson

    vuatson [delurks]

    Hi, welcome to the forum! Is that icon your tattoo? I think there’s someone else here with a Summoning Dark tattoo, though I can’t off the top of my head remember who it is.
    • Like x 1
  8. crashXtheXsystem

    crashXtheXsystem New Member

    It is! One of them.

    The only tattoo I have I dislike, but only because the artist was really not great. The risk of trying to find a new shop in a new place. But still. Summoning Dark is a good thing to have on me.

    And I'd LOVE to see someone else's version!
    • Like x 2
  9. hyrax

    hyrax we'll ride 'till the planets collide

    ahhh hello! it me, the one with the Summoning Dark tattoo! i saw your icon and i was like GASP IS THAT-- and then i kept reading and saw that, yes, it is! :D


    i also have the Guarding Dark on the other wrist!


    also, Changeling is my favorite WoD game, and i really miss playing it.

    welcome to Kintsugi! :D
    • Like x 1
  10. crashXtheXsystem

    crashXtheXsystem New Member

    Oh those are beautiful!

    I didn't resonate with the Guarding Dark, but I really really like that pairing. And tattoos in general are wonderful things.

    (I have a stylized chaos star on my other wrist, and the Summer Court Wreath. So there's that.)

    • Winner x 2
  11. hyrax

    hyrax we'll ride 'till the planets collide

    those are beautiful! i always loved the wreath designs, that looks great! and i agree, tattoos are excellent. there's a general body mods thread somewhere where people post tattoos, i know.
    • Agree x 1
  12. Acey

    Acey hand extended, waiting for a shake

    Hey, welcome to Kintsugi! If you have any questions, feel free to ask around--I like to think we're a pretty helpful bunch around here. :D

    (And while I know nothing about Changeling, body mods are the best. I have so many more tattoos I wanna get...I only have two so far but I love them.)
  13. crashXtheXsystem

    crashXtheXsystem New Member

    Thank you!

    And places to post tattoos? That's a good way to toe-dip.
    • Like x 1
  14. Lebesgue Integreat

    Lebesgue Integreat Lesbian Intrigue

    • Like x 1
  15. crashXtheXsystem

    crashXtheXsystem New Member

    Thank you much.

    Even if I hadn't been referred by someone I trust, I would have loved the name.

    My Technomancer fiance, he introduced me to the idea of kintsugi. He said if I didn't already have a hero identity, that would have been what he thought as mine. I wear a blue agate kintsugi heart all the time, because feelings.
    • Winner x 4
  16. crashXtheXsystem

    crashXtheXsystem New Member

    Thank you, thank you!
    • Like x 1
  17. crashXtheXsystem

    crashXtheXsystem New Member

    Ok, so I ran away for quite a while, because my brain got excessively upset at me.

    But a friend continues to suggest reaching out, and maybe reaching out here, or at least just sort of existing in this space, because of some of the other things my brain is doing.

    So I figure I'll try again.

    I kind of would like to make more Fake Internet Friends, to be honest, and based on what I've seen and been told, these seem like the kinds of Fake Internet People I wouldn't hate too much.

    • Like x 10
  18. Chiomi

    Chiomi Master of Disaster

    Hi! Welcome/welcome back. I'm sort of absent because grad school, but to be reassuring (even though I know it isn't for a lot of anxiety-brain): when we-as-mods say there is only one rule, we mean it. Unless your first impulse is abuse of other forum members, you super don't need to worry. And also if stuff does go sideways for you, mostly it just involves a chat in the Pear Wiggler where we can go "are you okay? maybe rephrase."
    • Like x 1
  19. Acey

    Acey hand extended, waiting for a shake

    Welcome back!! :D
  20. crashXtheXsystem

    crashXtheXsystem New Member

    Thank you.

    Of a wonder, I wasn't worried about breaking REAL rules, more just... breaking into social systems is difficult, and takes a lot of energy and courage. Don't always have it. Plus there are always unspoken rules, etc.

    Thank you a lot for the reassurance though.
    • Like x 2
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