If it helps at all, we're pretty good about unspoken rules here. Enough of us are autistic that we kinda have to be, I think. :P But I totally agree that it's hard to break into a new social group.
yeah, when we realize we have an unspoken rule we tend to kind of look around at each other and go, "oh hey, i didn't notice that was there. i guess that's a thing huh?" instead of being mad at people for not knowing it. ps, love your tat.