Overcoming inertia/mental blocks (is it possible?)

My experience with "WHY AM I NOT DOING THIS THING" anxiety is that it itself drains a lot of spoons, which results in getting stuck in a loop of misery where the feels make it impossible to get things done and that makes the anxiety worse. My best luck stopping it has usually been when I find just the right distraction to kick it in the shins so I can function, but one thing I've seen recommended is to let yourself off the hook for some of the responsibility so getting started is less overwhelming. So instead of going "I NEED TO DO THING" you go "I'll work on Thing for five minutes, then I'm free to go back to tappy games and Netflix." Or pick a concrete starting step and say "I'll list the big things I want to say in this paper" or something like that.

 

yeah, what i've found helps me a lot is to try and not think about most of the things i have to do and just tell myself to work on one thing for a non-overwhelming amount of time- for me the amount of tiem that's not overwhelming changes from like 5 to 30 minutes depending on how well im functioning, and then give myself permission to stop. its not perfect but it's much better than doing nothing

 

Dunno how universal this is, but while to-do lists don't help me much in general, they CAN help me with the crippling "I SHOULD BE WORKING" anxiety if I break the thing down into small enough steps or include enough relatively easy productive tasks. The act of being able to scratch stuff off, even if it was something that only took me a minute or two, helps with the "See, brain? I Did A Thing."

 

My problem right now is that it keeps happening with getting ready for work/the day in general. And with school. I'll just. Freeze up and not be able to get ready and won't be able to make it in. And I need to Stop That bc this Shit won't fly with a Regular, 9-5 job, which I am expected to get after graduating.

(I am both Very Grumbly and Terrified about this, bc i would much rather prefer *not* get a job that drains me every single day, and I'm scared that even if I do manage to get one I'm gonna have trouble keeping one due to these issues)

It would be cool if I were able to hire a helpy person to like. Make food so I eat normal food and help with cleaning, but the problem is that A) I'm p sure my parents wouldn't believe I need one and B) I can't afford one.

The other option is a roommate, but honestly I'm not the best person to live with bc even then I have problems doing things myself and relying too much on other people. There's only one person to date who hasn't had a ton of issues with living with me, and that person I can't live with. Also terrified of living with strangers.

 

Ah. Yeah, I've been there. Still kind of am there, really. :::///

My best advice with the food is to keep a stash of stuff you can make on autopilot with a minimum of time and effort- in my case it's Kraft mac-and-cheese, pasta and jars of tomato sauce, and keeping one turkey kielbasa in the fridge and more in the freezer. That way there's at least some intermediary space between "granola bars and cup noodles" and a full-scale dinner you have to budget a bunch of spoons to making.

 

Food is Hard, especially when you're supposed to be eating healthy but your brain stopped registering healthy food, which you're supposed to be eating due to a health condition, as stuff you enjoy. :/ it's extra hard when you have difficulty dealing w the aftermath of meals (cooking+cleaning), but you also don't want to leave shit in the sink all the time (even tho that happens a lot).

 

I think I'm gonna like. make a Staple Foods list and also designate a day where all I have to do is go out shopping and maybe making food in batches before Just Relaxing. I looked @ another forum about spoon-saving and that seems to be a common way to get around the needing to eat healthy Problem. Doing just those things on that day might save me from spoon debt hell.

Also, general tip for making things easier to get started: listening to either happy music or podcasts or audiobooks while cooking! That helps keep my brain happy rather than getting frustrated that cooking is taking a while.

 

That sounds like a good plan. In my experience it's often easier to get past the dysfunction if you've got a ritual or a routine, so you can just do the thing because it's what you do now rather than because You Need To.