Further updates: Flight was overbooked, so they upgraded me into business For Cheap and w o w ehat a difference this makes. Business class seats recline to beds, tasty food, nice headphones...no wonder people shell out extra for this. Arrived safe and sound and very tired regardless tho
Man. New job starting in just two weeks, and weirdly anxious about it? Nervous? just. Aaaaa Also boss-boss was in today, for official goodbyes, among other things, and once more pulled out the guilt trip and just 'oh you see how things are changing for the better now, and we def learnt and won't be making these mistakes again' and like. I hope that's true but i'll be real, after nearly 7 years of them not learning? I do not trust that. I do not trust that if me and Kirstin hadn't quite, any of this would have happened, instead of management making us limp forward on half a leg. Like until mid-august we were still covering a full 24h at the hospital lab despite, at that point, already being down to less than half staff. And I don't think for one minute that if they'd had 2/3s of their staff, they would have even temporarily taken out the nights.
but i'm still anxiety and second thoughts, which is Very Stupid because like, it's over and done, I got my new contract, i start a new thing, we'll see where it leads and honestly i'm looking forward to having regular work hours again. Weekends. Holidays. all the little things i did without for the last nearly 7 years. But some queasy feeling remains and it's just...it's strange. Maybe it's just because it'll be a fairly big change ffrom things. Idk.
I'm iiiiiill and i hate it.flu-like infection (not covid, tested that) and almost glad about it because the vibes at the lab are Pretty Fucking Rancid right now because the remaining lab peeps lobbied for letting one of our newbies go because he just was not up to snuff, and the other newbies disagree and just. aaa.
So turns out, the hellcold is covid. First test on sunday was negativ Did one today before going to grabdma birthmas and that one was solid positive. So i'll isolate in the upstairs rooms and drive back home on monday
man. one of these days i'd love to play Matt in DnD (grave cleric) but both times i'Ve tried the games died after one sesh so I think it's kinda cursed...
ngl, very funny to be posting the eroguro fic on ao3 and get kudos...and a LOT of them are from 'guest' But also apparently it made a bunch of people go through the rest of my opus because wow there's a sudden influx of kudos including on some of my 9 year old stuff ...which i just realized i wrote at fucking. 24. Withering into a husk, brb
swear to god when the muse hits me she HITS ME produced 20 pages of spadesfic within a week. Gonna get this baby edited and beta'ed and then slap it down on ao3 but like. man. talk about inspiration.
had an intense moment of 'he wouldn't fuck like that' about people's confident porn assertions recently. I respect your ideas my dudes but i also I think you're wrong about what this character would like, in a way that makes me wonder if we looked at the same source material.
[necros my own thread] From here on the tumblies WEIRDLY SPECIFIC BUT HELPFUL CHARACTER BUILDING QUESTIONS (for Matt because. Who else) What’s the lie your character says most often? - "i'm fine" How loosely or strictly do they use the word ‘friend’? - pretty strict. Doesn't have a lot of friends he considers friends How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing? - depending on who he's around. A friend? pretty straight forward. Someone who isn't a friend? His emotions are none of their business. Exception: he makes it VERY obvious when he dislikes someone What’s a hobby they used to have that they miss? - used to hike a lot as a kid, now lives in London and can't leave Can they cry on command? If so, what do they think about to make it happen? - technically yes but super rarely in situation where he considers it useful (thinking about one of his loves ones dying even hypothetically) What’s their favorite [insert anything] that they’ve never recommended to anyone before? - fave booze, mostly because what gets him intoxicated kills other people What would you (mun) yell in the middle of a crowd to find them? What would their best friend and/or romantic partner yell? - me: his full given name. loved ones: just his name, if they're shouting for him he'l come running How loose is their use of the phrase ‘I love you’? - nope. nope nope nope. He has so many hangups about this, getting that out of him is a miracle and a half and prove that he would die for someone, immediately. Do they give tough love or gentle love most often? Which do they prefer to receive? - can do both, leans towards tough unless he knows that won't work. Needs gentle love will not admit to that under torture. What fact do they excitedly tell everyone about at every opportunity? - Cat Facts. Whatever Mod's been up to recently If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference? - probably by scent. Eau De Graveyard Dirt is pretty distinctive. But also: for lovers: ask for a kiss. Real Matt both melts and bites. What’s something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific! - cat shenanigans, specifically Mod and Bane getting into a 'fight' When do they fake a smile? How often? - see first point about 'I'm fine'. If he's in a bad space he'll smile and bear it if it means his friends and loved ones won't be worried. How do they put out a candle? - from as far away as possible, with a candle snuffer. He's afraif of fire What’s the most obvious difference between their behavior at home, at work, at school, with friends, and when they’re alone? - talks to ghosts when alone. Tries very, very hard not to do that around people because it unsettles them. What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head? - love-and-light neopagan types What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them? - Matt notices: his eyes and the bags under it. What other people notice: how damn young he looks Who do they love truly, 100% unconditionally (if anyone)? - Mod. Dynas. Al. Lyk. Jess. Not in that order but y'know. (do not ask about Fleurie that's so complicated) What would they do if stuck in a room with the person they’ve been avoiding? - if avoidance because he just dislikes them and they leave him alone: pull out phone and read. If it's someone he avoids because he hates them? FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT Who do they like as a person but hate their work? Vice versa, whose work do they like but don’t like the person? - like the person, hate the work: Aodhan. Like the work, dislike the person: the tower raven What common etiquette do they disagree with? Do they still follow it? - unfortunately he knows like 500 etiquettes because he gotta juggle ancient undead and he thinks SO MANY of them are bullshit. He does them anyways because that's the job. What simple activity that most people do / can do scares your character? - see above point re: afraid of fire? Camfire anything scares the shit out of him What do they feel guilty for that the other person(s) doesn’t / don’t even remember? - Did they take a cookie from the cookie jar? What kind of cookie was it? - yes, always. His parents/grandma despaired. What subject / topic do they know a lot about that’s completely useless to the direct plot? - cooking How would they respond to being fired by a good boss? - confused, mostly but also: he'Sso damn proud he'd refuse to show the confusion What’s the worst gift they ever received? How did they respond? What do they tell people they want? What do they actually want? - says he wants: peace and quiet. wants: that, but even more so: to be loved How do they respond when someone doesn’t believe them? - shrugs it off. He's used to it. Gonna do his thing anways When they make a mistake and feel bad, does the guilt differ when it’s personal versus when it’s professional? - no, but that's because his 'professional' is also deeply personal to him. Failing at being Necromancer means failing at a sacred task When do they feel the most guilt? How do they respond to it? - being unable to help someone he set out to help. Tends to blame himself regardless of external factors and tear himself down. If they committed one petty crime / misdemeanor, what would it be? Why? - he's committed straight up major crimes the misdemeanors don't even register (but also: petty theft, probably) How do they greet someone they dislike / hate? - if they have to be polite: the fakest, most empty smile and chirpy hello. if not: the same chirpy hello but he's holding a knife How do they greet someone they like / love? - GLOMP. Immediate fullboy limpet attachment if in any way feasible What is the smallest, morally questionable choice they’ve made? - Who do they keep in their life for professional gain? Is it for malicious intent? - There's a few vampires he'd rather not have around anymore but they've not done anything yet and they keep their covens in order. So. They stay. Wouldn't call it malicious tho What’s a secret they haven’t told serious romantic partners and don’t plan to tell? - nobody gets to find out about the basement zombie storage. They're there for self-defense (both because he put them there in self-defense and because they're there to defend him in a worst case scenario What hobby are they good at in private, but bad at in front of others? Why? - drawing. He can do it but it's very abstract and the moment someone watches him it all goes sideways Would they rather be invited to an event to feel included or be excluded from an event if they were not genuinely wanted there? - rather be excluded. He can deal with not being invited, certainly better with being there and feeling how little he's actually welcome How do they respond to a loose handshake? What goes through their head? - no particular thoughts on it. He's not a believer in 'you can tell soooooo much about someone by their handshake' What phrases, pronunciations, or mannerisms did they pick up from someone / somewhere else? - picked up some wording from Dynas, and funnily enough if he wants to be really polite, he bows like Fleurie does If invited to a TED Talk, what topic would they present on? What would the title of their presentation be? - 'The importance of facing death: how denail of the end hobbles the ability to cope with the unaviodable' What do they commonly misinterpret because of their own upbringing / environment / biases? How do they respond when realizing the misunderstanding? - What language would be easiest for them to learn? Why? - What’s something unimportant / frivolous that they hate passionately? - slugs. he's an avid gardener and MY GOD these things are the worst Are they a listener or a talker? If they’re a listener, what makes them talk? If they’re a talker, what makes them listen? - Listener, enforced by his profession. Needs to trust you to really open up about the important stuff. Who have they forgotten about that remembers them very well? - oh there's a NUMBER of undead who sure as fuck recall when he walzed over them. He does not remember them at all. Who would they say ‘yes’ to if invited to do something they abhorred / strongly didn’t want to do? - his friends and loved ones. Dynas can ask him to ride on a fire dragon, after all. Matt would do ANYTHING for the peope he loves Would they eat something they find gross to be polite? - yes, a polite nibble What belief / moral / personality trait do they stand by that you (mun) personally don’t agree with? - his ruthless 'i see a solution to that problem' approach, no matter if it leaves a trail of devastation behind him. What’s a phrase they say a lot? Do they act on their immediate emotions, or do they wait for the facts before acting? - depending on stresslevel. Stresed? Yes, immediate overshooting emotional response. Non-stressed? a lot more calculating and into finding the facts Who would / do they believe without question? - See above. He loves someone, they're implicitely trusted and believed. What’s their instinct in a fight / flight / freeze / fawn situation? - FIGHT. Massive fight response What’s something they’re expected to enjoy based on their hobbies / profession that they actually dislike / hate? - horror movies. He hates them. If they’re scared, who do they want comfort from? Does this answer change depending on the type of fear? - his loved ones. doesn't matter what he's afraid of if he's scared he wants someone he trusts and loves to cuddle him. What’s a simple daily activity / motion that they mess up often? - keeps picking thr wrong keys How many hobbies have they attempted to have over their lifetime? Is there a common theme? - a few. He keeps trying to pick up sports and then immediately falls off the wagon again. Not that he isn't run off his feet enough as it is.
