I have a tentative half draft for a possible letter to my former school, that I had to leave halfway through the year because I had issues and didn't know how to fix them and therefore failed a class. They didn't have to make me leave, and a lot of the teachers and staff say they wish I was still there, so I think I have a chance. So I'd like to write a letter to the school explaining that I've started fixing my shit and would like to continue, and would like to return. Spoiler: sort of a draft Dear [school] I believe that I should not have been made to withdraw from [school]. ((reasons why etc)) I would like to have a chance to do better. ((WRITE THIS BETTER)) There’s no changing the past, but now I’ve had time to think about what I could have done differently, and what I can do in the future. I had problems at [school], and I still have many of those problems now, but I have solutions and plans for most of them. I had trouble taking notes while I was there. My former teachers most likely remember that they kept asking me to take more notes. I recently learned that I’ve been holding pencils wrong for my entire life, which is why it hurt so much for me to handwrite anything. I would like to repeat that: it hurt me to write things by hand. I was doing the best I could at [school] with the ability I had, and it wasn’t enough. Furthermore, it never felt like enough, and I thought I was simply making excuses for myself. I didn’t know I was actively injuring my wrist. Now I know. I recently saw an occupational therapist, and she taught me how to hold a pencil. I can write without being in constant pain. It’s going to take a lot of effort to get my handwriting and writing endurance up to par, but it will be worth it. I also had trouble with long term assignments, such as essays. I would do them quickly and turn them in late, and it was overall very bad for both my grade and my sleep schedule. It’s not that I didn’t want to do them; I would sit at my desk and say to myself, “I should start this essay,” and then I wouldn’t move. It’s not that I was playing on the internet. I was for some reason unable to start each essay. I’ve done some research, and I think I have trouble with task initiation. It’s not just homework; for example, if I don’t get my shoes off before I realize I should take them off, I just won’t take them off. This doesn’t happen to me so much anymore, because I’ve trained myself to take my shoes off as soon as I enter a place where I can do so. This gives me hope; I’ve programmed myself to fix this in one area, so I can do it again. I would be willing and eager to work with someone on how to manage this, now that I know what the problem is. I don’t have problems finishing something once I’ve started it, so that never really was and shouldn’t be a problem. It’s why I was able to write all those essays in three or four hour timespans, and the principle should hold even once I figure out how to start doing them on time. I realize that senior year is largely one year-long assignment. This could potentially be a problem, but I have considered this and I would like to talk with someone about possible solutions. Whether I’d have trouble with it or not, it’s something I’ve looked forward to in the past couple of years. I want to make sure that the letter gets across what I want it to, mostly. Thank you.
Drop every instance of "I believe" and similar constructions. If you are writing this, you obviously believe what you are writing and that (and similar phrases) are self-damaging attempts to weaken your case. Start with exactly what you want, something like, "I am writing to request that I be allowed to complete my senior year at X School." Direct writing and stating what you want is hard in that we discourage it as somehow impolite, but it is also easy once you get into the right mindset because you don't waste a lot of head space on other things and focus on what you want and how to get it.. Try this for a structure: 1. What you want. 2. Stuff that went wrong before so you had to leave, grouped into areas you can address in . . . 3. What I have done and will do to fix the stuff in point 2; again, grouped into areas. This is a very simple structure and can be prettied up a bit, but it's the core.
Do you have any kind of diagnosis for things other than the handwriting thing? I think I would probably suggest that you might want to start not with "I shouldn't have been made to withdraw" but "given the reasons I had to withdraw, here is why I think I could come back and succeed".
And the surrounding narrative doesn't quite match the letter. That is, were you forced to withdraw or not? I'm not sure. Maybe you aren't either. If that is the case, maybe you need to do some snooping around. Also, you mention that some teachers didn't want you to leave. Contact them and find out if they are willing to recommend your return. Recommendations from "insiders" are powerful. Use them if you have them.
@seebs unfortunately no, the earliest appointment we could get for anything else is in November I think. @rigorist thank you, I'll do that.
Having been through a similar process, my experience was that sounding confident was extremely important. I didn't need to be very specific about what the problems were or how I had resolved them as long as I looked really sure they were not going to be problems anymore. People wanted to help me get back to taking classes. They just needed me to give them an excuse to do it so the higher-ups would be happy.
@Aya that makes a lot of sense, but the whole school seems pretty hung up on specifics so I think I should have at least a few examples, especially of ones they'd been on my case about beforehand. I have a history of saying "I've definitely fixed this thing!" and then going "uhhh....it's secret" when asked how. I want to show that I've changed that, as well, and this is how I'm doing it unless I come up with something better.
I think including specifics of what problems you've resolved and how is a good idea, but I'd choose a couple of things that you think are particularly good examples, rather than describing every single one. For those examples, put more focus on the solution than the problem. It's good that you've done work on figuring out where your problems were coming from, but by talking a lot about that, it actually sounds like you're making excuses for yourself, which I know isn't your intention. For the case of the note-taking problem: What you have is a pretty detailed description of the problem, including a description of how you felt about the problem. While I understand the urge to mention that you were frustrated with yourself -- to show that you understand why they were frustrated with you, and that you don't think they were being unreasonable -- it doesn't help your message that the problem is resolved come through. Instead, I'd write something like, "For instance, I have had difficulties taking adequate notes because I was holding the pencil incorrectly, which was causing me substantial pain. To resolve this difficulty, I have been working with an occupational therapist who has helped me learn to write more comfortably. As a result, I should be more able to focus on taking the notes I need. I am making good progress relearning how to write, and I believe I will now be able to take good notes, which will help me to succeed at [school]." Something else I might include is why you think [school] in particular is a good place for you -- what you like about it, why you value it over just starting over somewhere else, what you've gotten out of it in the time you've already spent there. It sounds like you've done a lot of hard work since you left, and I think if you can let that show through, and also show why it matters so much to you to get back, you'll have a pretty strong case.
I have a rough draft Spoiler: i tried to use what you guys said Dear [school', I am writing to request that I be allowed to return in order to have my Junior and Senior years here. I should not have been made to withdraw from the [school]. There was no reason that I could not have stayed; according to the handbook, I could have theoretically stayed as long as I did not fail two classes. The way I was made to withdraw was unnecessarily cruel, and could have been pushed back to the end of the year. Failing that, there should have been some effort made to see that I had a fallback option. A former classmate of mine told me that the school put in a word for them at a different school that they are attending now. I was not granted even that. The past is in the past. This can’t be changed. What can be changed are the problems that ended with my having to leave the school. For instance, I had trouble taking adequate notes because I was holding pencils incorrectly, which caused me a tremendous amount of pain. In order to fix this, I have been seeing an occupational therapist who has helped me to learn how to write comfortably. I am putting a lot of effort into this and making good progress retraining my hand. I should now be able to keep up with discussions and take enough good notes to help me study and succeed at [school]. I know that [school] was and will be a good place for me. Just because there were obstacles in my way does not mean that I did not enjoy it or put effort in here. I loved it here. I was in love with the people, both the students and the staff. I loved the books and the work and the essays. Most of all, I loved the discussions and debates within the classes themselves. I can’t get that anywhere else. I was also looking forward to taking [spoilers] classes. I can’t know now for sure whether I’d enjoy them, but I was excited for them nonetheless. I know there’s room for me. There’s been a net loss of at least seven students in my grade, including me, and we were a small grade to begin with. Only a couple of students at most would be joining for Junior year. I would like to take my place back. If that’s not possible for the first semester, then I can wait for the second half of the year. There is precedent; I believe there was an incoming Junior that joined in the second semester five years ago. I would be very thankful if you could contact me to discuss this. My email is and my cell number is [cell number]. Thank you, [name I went by there] [/SPOILER]
Is there a reason the letter needs to be confrontational? Ideally this would be routine. People withdraw from schools all the time for reasons, and when the reasons are resolved, they are readmitted all the time. You want this to seem a routine, easy case. You solved the problem; you are eager to return; you will be a productive student--no muss, no fuss, easiest decision of their day. The 2nd, 3rd and 4th paragraphs of the draft make this a difficult decision. Did they make a mistake, do they need to apologize? If they readmit you are they admitting that some member of their staff did you wrong? (Do they have to confront this person, or get them to sign off on the decision to let you come back?) Would they be opening their doors to a student who is angry, feeling aggrieved and could possibly be disruptive? I do not think you want to raise those issues. I would replace paragraphs 2, 3, and 4 with a paragraph something like: "I withdrew from school upon the advice of [teacher or administrator] because problems X and Y were making it very difficult for me to perform at an acceptable level. I have resolved those problems. " [A sentence or two here describing the problems and their resolution in general terms would be good, leading to the more detailed example in paragraph 5] The idea behind paragraph 6 is good, but it is perhaps too effusive? Also, the last 2 or 3 sentences fail to match the intensity of the rest of the paragraph. Better to build to a climax. Maybe: ' ' ' I was in love with [greatly enjoyed?] the people, both students and staff, the books, the work and the essays. Most of all, I loved the discussions and debates. I was so looking forward to taking [spoilers] classes. [end paragraph] Is paragraph 7 necessary? Is there some reason to think they will focus on this issue? Ordinarily schools are very good at knowing how many students they have room for, and will take students up to that number. It is not worth cluttering the letter and detracting from your other points, unless you know this will be the decisive issue. Apologies if this is too dense, as a retired professor, I tend to geek out on these things.
okay, new draft: Spoiler: is this better? Dear [school], I am writing to request that I be allowed to return in order to have my Junior and Senior years here. I withdrew from [school] because problems with depression and my writing habits were making it difficult for me to perform at an acceptable level. I have resolved these issues. For instance, I had trouble taking adequate notes because I was holding pencils incorrectly, which caused me a tremendous amount of pain. In order to fix this, I have been seeing an occupational therapist who has helped me to learn how to write comfortably. I am putting a lot of effort into this and making good progress retraining my hand. I should now be able to keep up with discussions and take enough good notes to help me study and succeed at [school]. I am also a lot more confident in myself and in my ability to do the work that is required of me. I am now capable of working through whatever issues come up, instead of simply failing to acknowledge them. I am no longer hiding from people who offer to help me. I know that [school] was and will be a good place for me. Just because there were obstacles in my way does not mean that I did not enjoy it or put effort in here. I loved it here. I greatly enjoyed spending time with the people, both the students and the staff, the books, the work, and the essays. Most of all, I loved the discussions and debates. I was also looking forward to taking University classes. I would be very thankful if you could contact me to discuss this. My email is and my cell number is [number]. Thank you, [name] [/SPOILER]
