I freaked out again :( Saw a police car driving down my street, and it turned out to be a routine patrol but it left me panicky for the rest of the morning. I self-harmed again. I can't even remember the last time I did that but it was the only thing which cleared my head enough to focus on anything else. Ergh.
Fuck, that must have been unpleasant. Hugs if you want them. And just in case it helps, I'll tell you: you're safe and you did nothing wrong.
Thanks ^_^ My advisor at the work support course helped talk me down to normal heart rate again. Would have been okay if I hadn't been leaving for that just as the car arrived - if I'd seen it leave while I was there, I'd have been fine, but I spent the morning wondering if it was waiting for me. I was aware it was irrational, but I had to scratch my hands pretty badly to concentrate on anything else.
