Predominantly Erroneous (Exohedron nonsense blog)

My mom just told my dad to end our phone call because I need to go to bed because I have work in the morning. Which, yes, true, but also kind of funny at my age that mom is (indirectly) trying to enforce a bed time on me.

I'm probably going to stay up for another two hours anyway.

 

Kubrick-oven pizza

 

"Yes, your honor, it's true that I [x], but it was in self-defense"

Where x is:

Punched him (in self defense)
Shot him (in self defense)
Mocked him (in self defense)
Called him a slur (in self defense)
Cancelled him (in self defense)
Cancelled his Netflix account (in self defense)
Cancelled his flight to the Bahamas (in self defense)
Rammed his car (in self defense)
Rammed his yacht (in self defense)
Stole his wallet (in self defense)
Stole his bitcoins (in self defense)
Stole his cat (in self defense)
Changed his locks (in self defense)
Changed his lockscreen (in self defense)
Changed his legal name (in self defense)
Burned down his house (in self defense)
Egged his house (in self defense)
Sold his house (in self defense)

 

Realizing that the reason I can't watch tap-dancing, despite really appreciating the idea, is the same reason I can't watch marching or rhythmic gymnastics: I am super sensitive to deviations from beat quantization and human error is too much for me.

 

Thinking about the Weeping Angels that only move when you're not looking at them. But what about a creature that only moves when you're looking at it? How long would it take for you to realize that it freezes between glances, that it takes a long time to get anywhere if you aren't paying attention?

 

Eldritch Netflix begs you to please please keep watching.

 

Finding out that one of my colleagues is ten years older than I thought she was.

 

Does it count as calling someone out if you leave them a passive-aggressive thank-you note in a public place? Like, one that starts with a parable about a purely hypothetical situation illustrating what goes wrong when one isn't sufficiently humble and attentive, with remarkable amounts of specific detail, followed by "Unrelatedly, thank you to X, Y and Z for no reasons in particular", where by sheer happenstance X, Y and Z would have been responsible for fixing said situation had it actually occurred?
I don't like being passive-aggressive; if there's something wrong, I would rather complain about it directly. But it is entertaining to think about.


In other news, nothing bad happened at work today, and it's nobody's fault and/or responsibility.

 

When naming a piece of fanfiction using a song lyric (crediting the sing, of course), is it funnier if the lyric is super common and shows up in lots of songs, not just the one you credit, e.g. In The Night, from the song Africa by Toto, or if the title clearly doesn't appear anywhere in the song, e.g. Metastasized, from the song Africa by Toto

 

I'm glad that I like puns, not just because it makes me happy when someone makes a pun, and not just because it makes me happy when someone makes a pun and it inflicts pain on the people who don't like puns, but because I can then pretend that I don't understand the pun, thus forcing the pun-maker to laboriously explain the pun, ruining the joke and inflicting pain on the pun-maker and also on the people who don't like puns, already damaged from the pun itself and now forced to here it again but drawn-out and in tedious detail.

"I don't get it" is a powerful weapon that I probably shouldn't be so cavalier with.

 

I keep getting surprised that she keeps getting surprised at the amount of trivia I apparently know. Like, I'm not even the most trivia-equipped in the office. It just happened that for various reasons it was helpful to have on hand a somewhat comprehensive list of the common names of mustelids. I even forgot about badgers, as I always do.

 

My habit of changing chords in the middle of bars coming back to haunt me.

 

For some reason I am abruptly convinced that it would be at all useful to actually learn to read and write Wingdings.

 

Well, I'm better at reading bad handwriting because of experience with reading Daedric. Same kind of pattern matching. Also, "Wingdings!" is an even better answer than "Daedric!" when someone asks how you do it.

 

I actually can't remember when was the last time I had to really read handwriting that wasn't my own, rather than just listening to the speaker and inferring what they would have written had they actually been writing anything meaningful on the board. This doesn't always work, but when it fails I generally don't care enough to bother.

 

When four different pantheons all trigger their end-of-the-world scenarios at the same time and it mostly just cancels out.


Mostly.

 

"3-SAT is a ridiculous standard to measure anything by; most kids have enough trouble passing the SAT once, much less three times"

 

Worried for a bit that I was losing my sense of taste, which would have been a very bad sign these days, but it just turned out that that piece of ghost pepper must have been masked by something because I could definitely taste the other pieces.

 

It must be awful to listen to me humming. Besides the fact that I'm probably off-pitch, I keep changing the melody, getting halfway through a bar and then launching into an entirely different melody, often with a different time signature.

 

Programmers might like and even subscribe, but they sure as hell aren't going to comment.