yeah, i should be in more therapy than i am (which is none, basically), but I'm glad this got posted so I can reference to it when I get to a place where I can talk about my issues verbally and in person without trying to charm people into liking me. So, uh, thanks for asking questions
@boyacrossthestreet Happy to; good luck. It's taken me, uh... six years... to get to a place where I'm up for trying it, so I feel the 'not ready' vibes. (I tried to go to a therapist when I was in college, but I'm terrified of authority figures, and ended up dropping it because it was just too scary. Tried again later, went okay, then ran out of spoons and couldn't follow through when I was supposed to get a referral to a non-campus psych type, because it required me to use a phone and I was in mid-depressive episode. Trying again now. =_=)
ah, yes. phone use is one of the first things I drop when I get stressed/depressed I am also weirdly good at seeming ok, so it's hard to drop that with people sometimes, and it kind of perpetually freaks me out that there are people i know who know i'm not totally a-ok. So yeah. Definitely waiting on that until I get better at admitting I'm not totally ok (which this forum & tumblr actually helps a lot with, I am like 33% less obsessively guarded than pre-tumblr/kintsugi boyacrossthestreet) Definitely - good luck on this attempt!
Update: Psych appointment was pretty awesome, got another scheduled in a couple weeks. Success! Psych was non-scary, cool about the possible-sperg and very cool about the trans stuff. Although it's really funny to me that my main stress is my mom, now. I never used to parse it as a Major Issue unless she was actively scaring me, because it was... too much to think about. So yay!
