Psychiatrist problems

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by BPD anon, Mar 6, 2015.

  1. BPD anon

    BPD anon Here I sit, broken hearted

    I think this goes here and not in brains. Not entirely sure.

    I am currently in college. Over Christmas break, I visited my mom's house. During that time, I went to see a psychiatrist since A) I wanted to see if I had ADHD and if so get medication so I could stop falling behind in my classes and B) it was killing me to not have an official BPD diagnosis. The psychiatrist diagnosed me with both and I tried a couple of stimulants, neither of which worked. I went home to my dorm with an antidepressant to try just in case the real problem behind my motivation wasn't ADHD.

    I started falling behind again a couple weeks ago, and therefore started taking the antidepressant, which so far hasn't worked, but I know these things take time to try out. I want to hook up with a psychiatrist over here sooner rather than later. The first place I tried, which was in walking distance, was booked for a month. They referred me to the place I'm having problems with.

    I first filled out a little questionnaire with ADHD-related questions. Then I went in to see the first woman. I told her my other psychiatrist had already diagnosed me with ADHD and BPD. She asked me how that had happened and I told her the previous psych had asked me a bunch of questions and I had answered them. This wasn't sufficient to her, and pretty quickly she started talking about how I probably have bipolar instead. I started to get angry. She told me it seemed like I wanted a BPD diagnosis. I yelled that of course I do, it explains all my behavior! She told me to leave. I begged her to let me stay because I know I need ADHD meds. She let me stay, but said I couldn't do it again, which makes me think she believes I choose when I want to yell at people, which isn't the case.

    The next lady I talked to asked me a series of questions for I think insurance purposes. At one point, she asked me how I found out about BPD. Hesitating and nervous, I slowly told her that I had looked up my experiences and BPD came up as a result. "So you self-diagnosed on the internet," she said. Maybe I am imagining it, but I think there was some dismissal in her tone? I think I might have imagined it because those are words I expect to be dismissive. I freaked out a bit and started frantically apologizing and I put a nearby pillow in front of my face. That was when I am sure she got dismissive. I forget the exact words, but they were something like "Oh, stop. You can't pull that with me." Then she asked me to leave as well. I calmed down after a few seconds and she let me stay. For both psychiatrists, the fear of being kicked out kind of put the other emotions on hold, which apparently to both of them looked like I was acting? She continued questioning me. Since I mentioned that I came by taxi from a sort of far away city, she wrote down the names of a few more nearby psychiatrists. She warned me, though, that none of them would put up with me screaming or the kind of behavior I showed her. She said if I tried that on any of them, they would show me the door I told her it wasn't intentional, but she said because I was able to calm down, it was. I told her I know they shouldn't put up with me because I am a bullshit factory, which she ignored.

    Since then, whenever I think about what she said, it causes me some intense negative emotions along the lines of "nobody will ever put up with me, not even the people who deal with brain problems for a living."

    Tomorrow I might be going in for a full evaluation. When I posted some tidbits of what happened in the status area, a bunch of people told me to drop her. What should I do? I lost the bill where the first psychiatrist had ADHD and BPD listed, and she hasn't replied to my e-mail asking her to provide evidence for student disability of her diagnoses. These people said they would contact student disability directly after the evaluation, and I sure would like to have fancy diagnosis papers showing BPD and ADHD instead of just a bill, which I think they implied they would give me. Should I go take the evaluation and then drop this place or should I just drop this place and get the evaluation elsewhere? Or am I blowing things out of proportion and the psychiatrists there are right?
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2015
  2. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    Boy, tough one. I would maybe make an effort to try to contact the previous psychiatrist, because that would be the most helpful starting point. I admit to being a little concerned about people interpreting this as "acting" or dismissing it as "self-diagnosed over the Internet" given the history. I think this might be a case where the written-out-in-advance thing might help, because part of your problem is that, since you have BPD, when people ask questions that suggest that they don't believe you, you are likely to panic and act in ways that don't actually help you.

    I would personally tend to avoid the specific person who made the claim that if you were able to calm down that meant the behavior was intentional, because that is total bullshit. Like, I don't have anything nearly as severe, and I have the same kind of thing; stuff will freak me out and then I act in ways I don't have much control of for a while, then I eventually get control back. I would also consider, if and when you have a diagnosis from someone else, raising concerns with them about it because that feels to me like it borders on an ethics violation, because it's just such a shitty diagnostic strategy.

    On the other hand, if you can get an evaluation from someone else there, sure, probably fine. And heck, get one from her if that's who they give you, because nothing prevents you from going to another for a second opinion later, and maybe when she actually works through the things she will get a clue. But basically, I would go in with the understanding that she may just be a fuckup, and the reason you're seeing her isn't that she's unequivocally right, it's that she's who's available now and a chance of getting a good answer today is better than waiting another week or three.

    But the other thing I'd do would be to bring in a brief summary thing saying "yes, I am aware that my behavior is problematic, that's exactly why I'm trying to get things sorted out, here's what I've been told, here's a tiny subset of the things that appear to have wrecked my sense of self and boundaries, please consider acting as though I might not be stupid or lying and take this seriously." Although I think on reflection that tone may be more confrontational than you really want/need.
  3. Allenna

    Allenna I am not a Dragon. Or a Robot. Really.

    She might not be able to due to HIPPA unless you signed something saying she could use email. You are probably going to have to call. If you have a fax number for the people that need the information give her that. You might have to print, sign, and scan a release form.

    My instinct is to tell you to find someone other than these people and that you should report their dismissivness. Yes they have the right not be yelled at, but jumping right to "you need to leave" strikes me as not professional given what they are supposed to be doing.

    You might have to do what I did to get my austism digonisised which is find a place that specializes in treatment and therapy for people with Personality Disorders.

    Major hugs if you want them.
  4. BPD anon

    BPD anon Here I sit, broken hearted

    I phrased it wrong. I emailed her asking her to email me the diagnoses so I could give them to SD.
  5. Allenna

    Allenna I am not a Dragon. Or a Robot. Really.

    She still might not be able to communicate with you over email depending on how she view HIPPA and email security. My last place used a special encrypted email sender to send me any docs. I'm going to stress again to call. I know calling places can be stressful but not all doctors will do the email thing and you need to get this paper work.
  6. Chiomi

    Chiomi Master of Disaster

    The dismissal of BPD in favor if BD kind of concerns me - all else aside, they're pretty comorbid.

    I think it'd be worth going in for the evaluation, if only because it's scheduled pretty immediately and might be faster than other routes. If they fail to provide the relevant diagnoses and don't have good reasons that they're willing to explain, it would make sense to pursue other channels, like possibly making that phone call.

    And writing stuff down like @seebs suggested will probably help things go smoothly, if only because it'll give you an anchor to come back to.
  7. lvkz

    lvkz Well-Known Karkat

    uuugh, this is why i don't trust psychs. this story has happened so many times in my life that i feel like there are no good psychs out there. but you just gotta keep trying and push through the trauma of being hurt before. when people are coming to you for help for mental problems, you don't tell them they're faking it or that they're able to control something they can't, that's just pure incompetence. she should know that you can't control the way you act sometimes, that's part of mental illness... when your job is to care for the mentally ill you should know that... it makes me so angry to hear that other people are going through this

    but you can't let it get to you, it doesn't mean no one will put up with you, that's the crazy talking. what is actually happening is she's bitter and disillusioned and harbors disgusting feelings for the people she's supposed to care for. maybe someone's lied to her before, or maybe she just buys into stereotypes, but either way it's her problem and she shouldn't be treating you like that
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2015
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