An oldie, but a goodie: Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. Spoiler: sorry guys The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
In honor of my annual Hogfather reread, have one of the worst puns Terry Pratchett ever produced: A fancy restaurant, for reasons, has had the vast majority of their food replaced with mud and old boots. They have 100 people booked for Christmas Hogswatchnight dinner. The manager, being a resourceful type, has decided that they can work with this, and produces an entire menu oriented around old boots ("prime aged beef") and mud. People ask what they're going to do about the soup (Mud. And a lot of onions.), the puddings (Mud. Maybe they can get it to caramelize.), and...
My SO started boxing lessons today, December 26th. This was hilarious to me. Spoiler: For those who have no idea what I'm talking about In Canada and the UK (among other places) the 26th is known as Boxing Day.
Starbucks is coming out with a cascara latte in the new year. I had no idea what cascara was, so I googled it and came up with two results: either a Spanish-derived name for coffee cherry tea (no doubt what the latte is) or a species of buckthorn known for its laxative properties. I thought this was funny, so I shared it with a friend, whose unfortunate response was: "coffee is already kinda a laxative for me so that's nothing new. basically it's a crapshoot whenever i drink coffee."
Safety announcement along the side of the highway lately DON'T DRINK & DRIVE YULE REGRET IT eta wait no it was even more ominous YULE BE SORRY
A family friend shared this visual pun on Facebook... Spoiler: explanation An old Lang sign. Say it out loud. :P
"Portland Police Bureau: “Forensic Evidence Division Criminalist Walker Berg took this amazing photo from the 12th floor of the Justice Center. We’re calling it "Crows on Snow."" Tumblr user blurds: "dude really knows how to photograph a murder" (link)
Im reading this webcomic and they do a joke about illegible writing and the comments below were just killer: He just didn't scribble it down the "write" way. That pun is simply unpenable. Frankly, I find these puns about writing to be reCursive. Y'all are just going to quill me someday. Now, now, no need to throw a writ. There's plenty of puncils for everyone. None were Addressed to me. I seem to have been led off this time. All of your puns are nothing to write home about.
When I take too long in the bathroom, people try to talk to me through the door. But I just don't give a shit when I'm constipated.
One I posted in the sidebar a day or so ago, from my dad when I was a kid: Q) What's blue and doesn't believe in fairies? A) Cynic the Hedgehog.
Cake Wrecks has a lot, some from the mod and some due to misspellings. I think my personal favourite has to be the Super Bowl cake which was emblazoned with an unfortunately brown football and the words "Super Bowel Go Go Go".
