What kind of exercise do procrastinators do? Spoiler Weights! (This artisanal handcrafted dadjoke courtesy of my dad)
The voter information database software most of the Democratic party uses is called "NGP VAN," or "the VAN" for short. Today I noticed that the software's mobile app, used for door-to-door canvassing, is called... *drumroll*... MiniVAN.
Spoiler: nsfw Very Serious Worldbuidling with @TheOwlet and @KaidaShade need cleaning machines for all these [fantasy sex toys] like a dishwasher but yknow a dickwasher
A few, coming from a train of thought about one of my OCs having at least one asshole goat who keeps trying to eat his hair. Goatdamnit Grüß Goat Ungoatly Goatless (or, as the greek put it, αἰγίλιψ: goat forsaken) (also included: "Oh my goat", "What in goat's name", "Goat help us all", and my moirail sending me to pun jail) eta: Purgoatory
My favourite thing is when I set up a joke and someone comes up with another punchline. Me: What's a vampire's favourite fruit? (intended answer: neck-tarine) Coworker: Blood orange?
Saw a post about succubi and incubi today, and realized I needed to share a very important thing from Nethack fandom with this thread. In Computer Science, "foo" (with or without the addition of "bar") is often used as a placeholder when you don't feel like naming something properly. Need a throwaway variable? Name it foo. Making an output file while testing something just so you know how it works? Name it foo.txt. It can also be used as a wildcard; for example, if you wanted to say something could hypothetically involve any one of Particle Man, Triangle Man, Universe Man, or Person Man and it didn't particularly matter which one, you could say "Foo Man." This is why, when trying to come up with an umbrella term for succubi and incubi, Nethack fandom settled on "foocubi." Say it out loud.
A certain game has a card type called 'basic lands'. They're lands. What else do you want from them. In the most recent expansion, as an easter egg one of the characters (named Jace) has been hidden in the art of each basic land. So naturally, the playerbase has started calling them... Jace-ic lands
For some reason my phone has two electrical outlets in my contacts list. They've got addresses and photos and everything. I recognize both locations; one's in a park I visited while playing Pokemon Go and the other is at my friends' house. The photos even show plausible photos for the type of outlet, pictured with distinctive iphone adapter and white charging cord plugged in. I didn't take the photos any more than I created the contacts. It must be an automatic thing, and I have no idea why, but the length they went to with the photos and everything cracks me up. I was telling all this to a friend. Me: So I'm friends with two outlets! Her: Well, more power to you!
Offensive and related to the infamous game FATAL: Spoiler: rape mention For some strange reason known only to himself, Byron chooses to follow this section with a collection of delicious recipes, including Makke, Porridge, Dulcia Domestica, Gingerbrede and, of course (wait for it…) Rapes in Potage. Of course “rapes” is just another word for “turnips,” but Byron never misses a chance to use the term “rape” in a sentence…
i found a website that has thousands of cow-themed items and the description of each item is a series of cow puns some of which are better than others i'm so mad about "cow-preciate" THAT'S NOT HOW PUNS WORK
There's no concrete evidence, but one of the interns graveled after getting stoned, it was honestly quite marbleous, and now we have a bag of limestone.
SO: the pillow I bought is called bamboo, it has bamboo written all over it, it has pictures of bamboo stalks on it... And it's not made from bamboo at all Me: You been bamboozled
To be fair, there's fabric with bamboo fibres, and it has weird texture. Your SO might not be happy with a pillow made with bamboo...
