Puns?

Discussion in 'General Chatter' started by Deresto, Feb 25, 2015.

  1. Technicality

    Technicality All's fair in love and shitposting

    [​IMG]
     
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  2. Sethrial MacCoill

    Sethrial MacCoill Attempts were made

    Long, very nsfw conversation between me and the boyfriends today.

    Me: Intrusive thoughts are weird.
    Me: Yesterday's was "You are slowly destroying every bit of hard-won happiness you've built for yourself over the years."
    Me: Today's is "Dildo in a panini press."
    Lex: (something sappy that is irrelevant to the joke)
    Lex: also just what would putting a dildo in a panini press do to the thing?
    Me: Depends on the dildo. Food safe silicon: not much. Any other plastic: flat dildo.
    Me: grilled dildo. A grildo, if you will.
    Me: If you wildo
    Will: Will willdo (a pun he makes constantly). Willdid do last night, actually.
     
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  3. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    The felinocracy, or gofurnment
     
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  4. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    Here´s a riddle for german speakers:
    An especially pouty purse full of meat, related to ravioli.
    Maultasche, overly literally translated a moanbag
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2019
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  5. hyrax

    hyrax we'll ride 'till the planets collide

    one of my friends graced us with a beautiful one just now in a discord chat:

    Friend 1: i spent today huffing glue accidnetally

    Friend 2: at least it's not a gateway drug

    when you start with glue you tend to


    stick


    to it
     
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  6. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    Autumn, as befitting of the season in which Halloween takes place, marks an increase in people who are kin with stranger things, such as liquid relocation devices, or pumpkin.
     
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  7. LadyNighteyes

    LadyNighteyes Wicked Witch of the Radiant Historia Fandom

    pomkin.png
    It's a pomkin.
     
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  8. Wingyl

    Wingyl Allegedly Magic

    that reminds me: i saw a thing where all the portal characters were dogs

    wheatley was a pomerainian because he's british aka a pom
     
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  9. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    Why are heavy artillery operating dwarves shaped like pigs?

    Because they're cannon dwarves
    cannon dorfs
    Ganondorf
     
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  10. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    Someone who works on punning in different topics strives for omnipuntence.
     
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  11. budgie

    budgie not actually a bird

    Me, to boyfriend: So you want to see a dermatologist, an ophthalmologist, and a gastroenterologist. Any other -gists?

    Me, some seconds later: Oh, hell, I should have said "Is that the gist of it?"
     
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  12. Technicality

    Technicality All's fair in love and shitposting

    warning: this musical has been rated mature as it contains sax and violins
     
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  13. like the album “cotton-eyed joe” is from?
     
  14. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    Oh, oh, I just came up with the perfect name for a wordplay-based-combat type melee character, based on greek mythology -- Punthesilea.

    On an unrelated note, I've asked myself whether masks are more of a guy thing or a girl thing. After all, they're pretty maskuline.

    ETA:
    I have been informed my tendency to wordplay with wild apundon is a bit punful to read at times, and I wish to apologize for that. I but strive to become the epuntome of interlexical wit.
    Which is a bit of a mouthful, although 'punography' sounds a bit awkward.
     
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2017
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  15. budgie

    budgie not actually a bird

    I am working on a project about the conservation and cleaning of feathers. Unfortunately, I am stumped for a punny title. "Birds of a feather" doesnt really work, but I'm stuck on it and can't come up with anything else.
     
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  16. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    • quilling work
    • featherweights and other utensils
     
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  17. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    I'd love some guaca-mole but I'm all out of avagadros.
     
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  18. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    Ferrets have an excellent sense of direction because they contain lots of iron, making them magnetic.

    They're ferrous.
     
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  19. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    Kite no
     
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  20. Wingyl

    Wingyl Allegedly Magic

    mum: *gives the dog a nut*
    me: *watches the amusing facial contortions the dog does to chew the nut*
    mum: a nutty dog!

    (the dog has picked up a taste for nuts as a treat after eating some that the parrot threw on the ground.)
     
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