Puns?

A piece of string walks into a bar, looking more than a bit worse for the wear. "What are you," asks the bartender, "some kind of punk rock string?"

"No," says the string, "I'm a frayed knot."

 

In paper chromatography, paper is used as the stationary phase.

 

My sibling just walked in and showed me a picture on their phone of someone in Final Fantasy XIV with the screenname "Sasuke Gucciha."

 

I'VE BEEN THINKING THAT PUN CONTINUOUSLY FOR YEARS THANKS MARVEL

I'm so happy.

 

@kmoss: honeynut queerios

 

a local deli that i go to sometimes updated their menu, and apparently they think they're Bob's Burgers now:



admittedly, "thank god it's fried egg" is very good

 

I once went to a local restaurant on a day they were doing an event about Stranger Things and the daily special was "Stranger Wings." I think they also had pineapple upside-down cake.

 

The Passover Dad Joke.

 

"If you need the bathroom, speak now, or forever hold your pee."

 

When is a good time to make a Fatboy Slim joke? Right about now.

 

This is courtesy of the TV channel Dave, actually.

 

this entire song is basically just almost 4 minutes of beverage puns

 

@Vacuum Energy : would a detector that points in the direction of mushrooms around you be a morel compass?

 

there's this brand of bird food for wild birds around here called "topflite"

the tagline is "nature, nurtured"

we have this huge bag of topflite birdseed by the kitchen and very prominently on the packaging there's the sentence "For your friends in high places" and a bird in flight

like this: https://topflite.co.nz/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Cake-Peanut.jpg but instead of a cake of peanut it's a like 10kilo bag of birdseed

 

my dad has been baking heaps of bread lately

you could say he's on a............bread roll

 

This was probably unintentional on the writers' parts but the crow leader in Dumbo pronounces "ruckus" as "rook-us". Corvid puns!