Puns?

A group of people in a factory which produces mercury for manufacturing purposes didn't have time to eat their lunches in the break room, so they were eating on the catwalk. One man dropped his sandwich into the machinery and they had to throw the whole batch out. Too much tuna in the mercury.

 

Spoiler: nsfw

 

Spoiler: mildly nsfw, cis-assumption

-R K Milholland, Super Stupor

 

My sibling is rewatching Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood and we were discussing the homunculi's ironic deaths and how Lust is the odd one out, and we came to the following conclusion:

 

Spoiler: you're just going to have to decapitate me (no really, decaptiation)

 

Spoiler: vore pun

If you had to eat your friends to make a weapon to defeat the jabberwock, is that a

vore-pal blade

and would it go, snicker snack

 

This one comes from my sister:

 

I love this

 

I asked the librarian if they had a book on animals in science, like Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat. She said it rang a bell, but she needed to look to be sure.

 

The old webcomic Scandal Sheet has a lot of puns, this being the first.

 

I feel this so hard, my favorite pun in existence is "a woman walks into a bar, she says 'ouch'"

 

Hey heyheyhey, I've got on for you. What kind of flowers can you find in a toy store?

Dolliahs

 

Similar to that bottom one, I heard this once before

Spoiler: NSFW

Over time I had slowly begun to realize that my sexual fetishes had been getting more and more perverse, but it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I had hit rock bottom

 

How do mathematicians like their cheese?

Spoiler: The Answer

Inte-grated

 

Math puns are for squares :^P

 

I dunno I think they function very nicely for cool people too.

 

I dunno how I feel about this particular tangent you guys have gone off on...

 

Well you can se-cant you? It's a very good one.

 

Would a movie about a necromancer that focuses on rabbits be too hare-raising for theaters?