Puns?

I went to buy some closeted gays at the store, but they were all out.

 

Spoiler: tw poop

Ferrett Steinmetz' anecdote about trying to catch a guy who smeared faeces all over the bathroom walls at the store he worked at:

 

Spoiler: sex joke

Me: Ghost porn is mostly bookake.
SO: What the actual fuck?
Me: You know. "Boo"-kake.
SO: Oh! Ghost porn! I heard "roast corn", so you can see where I'm coming from.
Me: Because you're not a ghost.
SO: Oh shush, you.

 

Upside of intermittent Cotard's episodes: the potential for awful puns, I finally understand why it's a ghost/skeleton/whatever trope now.
Downside: the community around it on Tumblr is pretty dead.

I'm not even just joking.

 

I feel like this video belongs here. (It's not all puns, but there are a fair few...)

 

Me, recovering well from surgery: good post op

 

So I was playing minecraft with my bf and this happened

Us: Walk into a room with three creepers and a zombie
BF: It's like a creeper slumber party in here!
Me: Why is the zombie holding a shovel?
BF: He's digging the party!

 

From twitter: Mr. Potato Head was an only child in spite of being made by Hasbro.

 

Stolen from a Facebook meme my mom shared:

 

http://vintar.tumblr.com/post/86856692407/blurds-fairy-wren-人蠢冇藥醫-by-phatography1

 

https://birdwithapeopleface.tumblr....chiemcphee-beginning-last-summer-twitter-user

bird bread puns

 

What state has the best vision?

Iowa.

 

What state writes the most?

Pen-nsylvania

 

@spockandawe So I guess that post was wiggled pear request? :P

 

I liked the comedy news panel show Have I Got News For You on facebook, so sometimes they put things like this on my timeline:

 

From a webinar I was in today.

 

...are we looking at the p-value joke, or is there a pun in the names too?

 

Spoiler: nsfw pun that made me just stare at my screen in awe for a solid ten seconds.

 

Just the p-value joke.

 

http://fialleril.tumblr.com/post/179198543561/coolcatgroup-im-so-proud-of-them


cat in a hotel, with a staff ID, and the role of "mousekeeping"