Puns?

ChelG · Aug 25, 2022 at 3:09 PM

You’re going to give her a derogatory name for something you do all the time? That would be like me calling someone a pothead in a negative way. It would be pothead/kettle.
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ChelG · Sep 2, 2022 at 4:26 PM

Flavour text from Hiveswap Act 1:

Maybe you could incorporate this inaccurate globe into a ballet about…globes? With a bunch of dancers dressed as globes doing pirouettes to simulate spinning. Yeah…that’d be really revolutionary.
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ChelG · Sep 12, 2022 at 9:32 PM

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Interrupting coefficient of friction."
"Interrupt-"
"Mu!"
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ChelG · Sep 23, 2022 at 3:28 PM

Someone named their tortoise Jennifer Slopez.

ChelG · Oct 3, 2022 at 3:16 PM

ChelG · Nov 12, 2022 at 12:29 PM

Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross...
Long
“Something for this I have.” Yoda says. He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.
He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.
When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.
“Something I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.
Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.
“That’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. “I’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”
So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.
He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.
“Master Yoda!” he asks. “What did I do wrong?”
Yoda replies sagely,

“A Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”

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ChelG · Nov 27, 2022 at 1:03 PM

“My superpower is homophones,” the villain answered as the authorities surrounded him.

“And how do you expect that to save you?” the officer asked, his gun caulked and ready.
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ChelG · Nov 29, 2022 at 5:15 PM

The wizard of totalitarianism is called Propagandalf.
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ChelG · Dec 3, 2022

An American tourist in a large limousine asked the way from an old Yorkshire villager who was trying to cut his lawn with a rusty old mower.
"What di yer call that greeat thing?" said the old man.
"An automobile - and what's yours called?" asked the tourist.
"It's an ought ta maw grass, but it we'ant."
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-H. Hudson Rodmell

A Yorkshire lady rang her merchant to order a supply of coal and asked for an early delivery, adding "S'il vous plait". The coal merchant asked her what she meant by this. She explained that as we were in the Common Market we must practice our French and she was trying it out.
"Oh, in that case, madam," said the merchant, "how would you like it - cul de sac or a la carte?"
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-Walter J. Wilson

ChelG · Dec 9, 2022 at 11:04 AM

Snowplough names.

ChelG · Jan 3, 2023 at 9:39 AM

I don't know the original source for this, but found in a YouTube comment:

One of my favourite comic book onomatopoeia came from a panel where a toilet exploded. The sound effect was, "Ba-THROOM!"
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ChelG · Jan 11, 2023 at 8:22 PM

Many an inmate in the house of correction (of composition) knows the one attrib- uted to William Lyon Phelps of Yale University, who allegedly found this sen- tence gleaming out of a student essay: “The girl tumbled down the stairs and lay prostitute at the bottom.”
In the margin of the paper, the professor commented: “My dear sir, you must learn to distinguish between a fallen woman and one who has merely slipped.”
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ChelG · Jan 31, 2023 at 4:15 AM

If you put small round birds on a Christmas tree, does that make them borbles?

ChelG · Mar 11, 2023 at 12:29 PM

The book was written far too early for this to be intentional, but in The Last Unicorn, the monstrous Red Bull causes the unicorns to run away, i.e. take flight.

ChelG · Mar 17, 2023

Gotta have Gene Khan show up in the Marvel sections of my group's megacrossover just so someone who hates him can refer to him as Tambur-lame, or possibly Genghist Khan't. (Not a race thing - the character's whole schtick revolves around trying to be like Genghis Khan.)

KarrinBlue · Mar 20, 2023

... the teen antagonist/sometimes ally from Iron Man: Armored Adventures? Who's actually descended from fantasy-superhero-Genghis Khan?

ChelG · Mar 20, 2023 at 5:09 PM

Yeah, him. Wordplay-based insults are a fine theme of superhero fiction.

ChelG · Mar 23, 2023 at 9:03 PM

(Source because images I post keep failing.)

ChelG · Mar 26, 2023 at 9:23 PM

cancel me if you must, but I think the catch-all term for people who menstruate should be cyclists
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ChelG · Mar 28, 2023 at 4:33 PM

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