Yeah, it's a pre-established boundary that Palin keeps overstepping and then trying to spin as being unfair. Aon never uses it to poke Palin without Palin being able to poke back. Aon has also not asked for Palin to never talk about them, which would be unreasonable, they just don't want Palin giving them alerts or attempting direct contact. People other than Aon are reacting to this because it's happened before and lead to bad places, so we'd really like it if Palin could keep to not overstepping even fairly minor boundaries before they start overstepping major boundaries.
I looked and did not see where Palin interacted directly with Aon. I'm about ready to tell Aon to softly avoid me outside of certain topics.
Basically, sorry this played out confusingly in your thread, you're not involved or at fault, there is history here.
This sounds like a fairly strong implication of intent, but I didn't see any spinning of it as "unfair". There is an underlying problem that at least two people have said "don't interact with me", but so far as I know, there is no list of people who have said that, so... Like, practically, I have no idea how she could comply with all the various "don't-interact" type requests, of which there have been a few, without just avoiding interacting with everyone, or being a completely different person with a much more reliable memory. I know there's at least a few people on the forum who have at some point asked me not to interact with them, but it's been years in some cases and I can't remember who. I try to avoid people that I think have asked me to avoid interacting with them, and if I forget, I apologize and move on. But that's a lot easier if people at least provisionally grant the possibility that my inability to remember things is not a concerted, planned, effort at harassing them.
Given that Palin was also rating the posts in Aon’s vent thread, I think it would probably be prudent for her to keep a sticky note or desktop note with people who’ve made that request. Especially since Aon has made it multiple times now. It could be forgetfulness, but unfortunately it looks targeted. That probably accounts for the level of hostility towards her when she keep doing the thing in this particular instance. edit: Also, if necessary, I believe that Aon has a list of his subaccounts in the SPR Afterparty Guestbook thread, like most people who participate in the 18+ SPR.
That is indeed why I am so hostile towards her because I have asked multiple times now and it has happened in my damned vent thread too.
Palin's been rating Aon's posts. This can easily be read as accidental and just agreeing with the posts, except Palin has deliberately gone into Aon's vent thread and rated posts in there and then kept rating posts that were asking Palin not to rate posts. I understand you are friends with Palin. I understand you want to stand up for your friend. I don't judge you for either of those things. However, in this specific case, there is a level of interaction and subtext going on that is invisible to you, which is why I am explaining it even after other people have explained it. If you don't want Aon to interact directly with you, I'm sure you're free to make that request.
Yes, I believe that it's often accidental, but I also feel like it swiftly turns intentional when Aon tries to remind Palin of their boundaries. Such as Palin going into Aon's vent thread after such a request and rating their posts there. I think Palin can slip up and rate posts she honestly agrees with, but responding to a reminder with 'we don't ostracize here' is upsetting.
I basically agree here. I know that sometimes Alix legitimately just forgets. What she should do is say "fuck, sorry" and stop. Instead she gets upset and starts aggressively doing the thing that she was asked not to do. I don't think it's unreasonable for one person to ask another person to not interact with their posts. I think there should be some allowances for forgetting, but I understand not wanting to do that here, given previous actions.
communities like fatlogic are, by design, not supposed to help anyone. it’s a masturbatory attempt to inflate the members’ egos by putting down their targets. it’s also the same reason why communities such as this are counterproductive at encouraging healthy body maintenance, managing to do worse than the bodypositivity movement you think so poorly of. there are many reasons why this is, but the one i am most familiar with as someone with a major and special interest in psychology is cortisol: Spoiler: Longbad Cortisol Explanation when you get stressed out, the cortisol in your body goes Oh Shit Where Gonna Die and flips its shit, breaking down protein into glucose to give your muscles immediate energy. that’s the fight or flight response. but it causes problems when the cortisol is not able to Calm The Fuck Down. when cortisol can’t Calm The Fuck Down, it becomes hysterical and refuses to stop turning protein into glucose, causing your blood sugar levels to explode – and surprise! now you have type ii diabetes maybe if you’re unlucky. another problem that happens when cortisol can’t Calm The Fuck Down is that it starts shoveling A Fuckton of fat around to your muscles, and then this fat starts making even more fucking cortisol, but because your cortisol has been doing nothing but giving your muscles energy, the entire rest of your body necessary for keeping you healthy long-term that got ignored by cortisol because it doesn’t help you Not Die is getting kinda upset, so it Files A Complaint to your brain that its Hangry which then makes you Hangry even though you don’t actually need more food, and when you do eat that food your cortisol snatches the energy from it and goes HAHA SYKE, more body fat for the muscles! any part of this you think spunds like it could turn into a vicious cycle can and will turn into a vicious cycle because cortisol is a Stupid Neurotic Fucc so because being attacked and made fun of stresses people out, this shit happens and they gain weight. because being told not to hate yourself makes you less stressed, your cortisol can calm the fuck down and let you lose weight
you also p much all nutritionist stuff is all bullshit coning from an industry that preys on people’s insecurities without doing anything that actually helps. i wouldn’t trust any information that doesn’t come from a dietician or relatedly licensed medical professional
addendum: i think the word i originally meant WAS dietician bc they were accredited and on base, but I mixed up the words :V My Bad
I kinda wish that there was a HAES-type community that was like "Okay, you have thyroid issues, but you need to lay off the 1,200-cal lunches..." https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/90g70h/doctor_told_me_im_proof_its_not_hopeless_no/
So what I am hearing that is being in an abusive situation/being in fight or flight mode for years can be a strong contributing factor to Type II Diabetes? Because, like, that might explain somethings, for me personally.... (But no really, interesting info thanks!)
And multiple people have explained, multiple times, why that would not actually be helpful to someone who is trying to lose weight. There are many psychological factors at play here that you're just completely ignoring, and I think it's contributing to why (we think) you're wrong about how to approach weight loss in general. Another reason is because "how to approach weight loss in other people" is "don't."
i'm thin so it might not be my place to say anything here but, tbh, greallan, when people say i should change what i eat or exercise more or whatever, all i want to do is tell them to fuck off. i never want to listen to them and take their advice. and the stuff they say makes me feel awful. also, even though i'm thin, that doesn't mean i'm healthy. i eat a very limited number of things 'cause of my sensory and throwing up issues, and i don't exercise much, and i have scoliosis. i manage to get enough nutrients, and my health isn't completely horrible but my thinness doesn't make me healthy. and that doesn't mean i want or need a lecture or mocking from anyone to get my health in order. it won't help and i'm, quite frankly, done with listening to that shit.
no. counting calories and vigorous dieting is quite stressful, and can often cause people to gain weight. and if you have thyroid issues, that means you should be carefully listening to a licensed dietician in order to avoid health complications, not internet randos telling you how bedt to lose weight, which could easily make things worse yup! that’d probably be a very strong contributor. cortisol arousal makes your body resistant to insulin intake, which i imagine can quickly spiral out of control if it gets caught a vicious cycle of nonstop arousal, since i’m pretty sure the pancreas can only make so much insulin? there’s a strong association between the two in any case
Proper education about serving sizes and calorie contents is bad. I get it. Government mandates about fast-food restaurants making that sort of thing more visible on their menus was just a conspiracy to make people stressed. That guy that would drink 4-6 liters of full-sugar soda a day straight from 2-liter bottles knew what he was doing and so does everyone else who drinks soda, especially the ones who drink from one-person bottles. You're not going to change my mind about randomly approaching fat people on the street.
Greallan, why is it so important to you for fat people to practice perfect physical health behaviors? What about that affects your life in any way?
