Discussion in 'Your Bijou Blogette' started by Re Allyssa, Dec 15, 2018.
Ty! I love Ruben so much. ;~; He makes me miss my bulldog lol
Five months and 17 days later, and I finally put together my bed frame to get my bed off the floor
Hell yeah to small victories
It also helps with Project Clean Room and has been kind of a mental stumbling block (actually physical too lol) in like getting that done
so it's at least a medium victory! just late xD
I finally pulled enough spoons together to get this Dumpster Fire taken care of. [tw abuse].
A little irritated at myself that it's taken over two years to get this 15 minute phone call done. But I think this is one of the first times I've been able to face this fiasco without actually being that upset about it?
Plus I already had a little anxiety in my chest anyway, so I said fuck it.
I got a GREAT agent on the line and she is like "I am going to take care of this and we should keep hounding each other until it's done" and I'm like "YES PLEASE THANK YOU"
Seriously, I could cry. If this finally gets done, it'll be one of the biggest things off my shoulders... like it's a back burner things, but there's so much back there and this is huge and I'm just ;alsdkjfa;dslkf
I might've come out of this with more spoons than I started with...
What is the only thing that will reliably get Re out of bed on a Saturday? And to dust off her tumblr?
HOMESTUCK OF COURSE
So I just had to drop boyfriend off at the airport, which always makes me feel like shit. This time especially because we was supposed to have moved in with me at the beginning of the year and just.... hasn't. I've been compromising with visits because I can't just not see him while I wait for him to get up the courage to do the thing...
Also, I'm on withdrawal from propranolol, which I only recently learned is a thing I should be avoiding like the plague. (Fixed as of now - waiting for it to kick in)
But I needed to get groceries, so I went in to get some basics and I just kind of walked around the store in a daze. I had/have a headache and felt out of focus.
When I went to check out, the cashier was complaining about something with the other cashier, accidentally said something like "fuck this" and then apologized and I was all "oh, i don't care" and then she kept talking about... something? The problem was that she was mumbling a little, which wouldn't be a huge problem normally, but my audio processing was out of order, apparently, because I couldn't only catch like 1 word every other sentence. And I felt bad! Because it sounded like she wanted input or commiserating. I couldn't say anything meaningful, so I kind of nodded along and said "yeah" or "that sucks" when it sounded about right. I think the issue was dating related? I only kind of caught that near the end.
When she's done and I'm waiting on the card processor, she says "I'm sorry. I don't usually talk much to customers like that. But you looked like you'd really get me, you know?" Which I was actually able to parse all that. But I said "thank you!" in reply, which in retrospect... Anyway she said thanks again and have a good day, etc and I told her to have a good one too.
And like, despite my brain being what it was, this is a Good Story. It gave me the warm fuzzies to hear her say that. That even though I had to have looked high as fuck and could barely follow the conversation, she thought I'd be able to help, and I did end up helping by just listening.
And that's just... That's really important to me? Like... It's not the first time a stranger or an acquaintance has reached out to me out of the blue. I have some friends who like, they're friends, but we never really talked deep or one on one, but they show up in my DMs telling me their story either just to vent or ask for advice.
And it's really moments like that that make me feel like I'm not lying to myself when I feel like I've been called to this. Like, supernaturally? Like I have a God-given gift for helping people and I should probably use it more often.
There are times when like... Even though I don't really know what I'm saying, I know I have to say it and the person will get what they need out of it, but I need to say it Now. Or, where I really understand what a person is thinking, or what their anxiety dream meant or what have you, even though they themselves have no clue. Or when I ghost drift with my mom over 2,000 miles away. I'm also oddly very calm in situations of actual emergency. All my anxiety just turns off, and either I triage or I'm confident that it'll all be okay, or both.
It feels conceited to think I might have some sort of ~supernatural power~ or something, but it's not like I think only I have something like that. I think a lot of people do! It still feels weird to like... declare it for myself?
But yeah, anyway, that was a nice experience and it cleared the fog away enough that I could drive home safely.
Welp, if I'm gonna just this, time to shit post.
Someone in our email Queue:
My brain: Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?
So I play this hidden objects game and those names reuse the same items a lot
Sometimes I know where everything is, but this game does switch it up enough that there's at least some challenge to it still
Once in a while the last item I'm looking for is a hairbrush.
My brain: Oh wheeeere is my hairbrush? Oh wheeeere is my hairbrush?
"Oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh
Where oh, where is my hairbrush?"
Haha if we're talking about this veggie tales song *fist bump*
Tbh I have this song snippet in my head for years but memory of the actual situation where it came from has faded from me
Yup, the veggietales song!
It was a silly songs with Larry. I don't remember which episode exactly, but it was one of the earlier ones
You know something's wrong when you're trying to tally up medical bills and end up with THREE different results....
The three numbers -
1) What the doctor says I owe them based on billing statements
2) what the doctor says I owe them based on one big ass statement that has the full breakdown (less than #1)
3) and what the insurance says they paid (less than both #1 and #2)
edit for clarity
Blaaaarg so I call them and they say #2 isn't valid because if the insurance overpaid, that money doesn't go to the patient balance, ie me, but back to the insurance company =/
I ended up paying #1, but I think there's still a problem with #3. I'll have to look at it again. Or it's just $40 maybe I don't bother xP
In other news, the only time I'm counting on being about to use exdad's insurance falls through because the entire plan was cancelled in April. They were going to cover me until the end of this year xP
I was kind of counting on that to have a buffer time in getting a new job but OH WELL
*blows dust off blog and then coughs* so yeah been a while
Have my Father's Day contribution to the internet:
My mom when I post the convo to facebook: My husband and daughter have a very dark sense of humor. It's not always easy for me to catch up. Lol
Me: ... I got it honest? XD
(The joke being, for those that don't know, Joe/my dad is technically my step dad that I only met when I was 18. but shhhhh)
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