Reasons My Kintsugijin is Crying, or; The Weepy Marshmallow Brigade

crimson peak didn't make me cry, but its fanfic sure did. I SIGNED UP FOR GHOSTS NOT FEELINGS

 

THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL

 

i read a modern SMT compendium thing someone linked, and it included (and thus made me remember) Tama the eternal stationmaster cat :')

 

so kintsugi i went to see moana with my mom last night and i cried FOUR SEPARATE TIMES!!! and most of them weren't even during the emotional climax parts. honestly about 3 minutes i was just struck by how beautiful and important and special and good this movie is, and i lost it. also i'm listening to the soundtrack rn and tearing up all over again, ugh.

it's so good guys, pls go see it sometime this week (esp if you need a break from Holiday Shenanigans)

 

someone wrote a ridiculously sad good omens fanfic
i legitimately sobbed i haven't done that for a while,

 

I'm tired and hungry and my head hurts and I was so bad at hiding how worn out I was getting at work that my supervisor sent me on an extra break and even after that I barely got halfway through cleaning the back room fridges in the hour I was supposed to do them in and people were loud on the bus ride home and it was cold and I'm too tired to get myself dinner and I just want to be normal and be able to do the things normal people can do but I can't.

*wallows in self-pity*

 

Been sick for so long and still have to wait for any kind of diagnosis.

 

Ari Bach, aka Facts I Just Made Up, is answering questions on Tumblr.
I've always felt guilty about my depression fucking up my reading of Valhalla, even though I loved it.
That was a book that made me feel guilty in tons of different ways because I never deemed myself good enough for it.

A month ago I sent him a thing basically asking for approval and apologizing for not having read it because of my depression and he answered in just the kindest way.

Spoiler: Tumblr conversation

[ericvilas:] Hi Ari. I'm sending this as a chat instead of an ask because of the crappy word limit of asks. I wanted to apologize. I bought Valhalla over a year and a half ago. I got into it. I loved it. And roughly 3/4 of the way through... I stopped. I don't know why. I didn't read anymore. I didn't do anything anymore. I just didn't feel like doing... anything. I was recently diagnosed with depression. I have so many things I want to do and I don’t feel like doing... any of them. I bought a new game, played 4 hours, dropped it. I followed a new series, watched 10 episodes... dropped it. Your book was one of those casualties and for that I am truly sorry. If I ever get my ability to Do Shit back, I swear... I will pick it back up. I will finish it. I will finish the trilogy. I will buy a ton of crap from you and join the fandom properly. You deserve it.

[facts-i-just-made-up:] I've been like that too when depressed so I understand. No need to apologize to me, I hope you find someone who can help you. My psychiatrist literally saved my life. I hope you can get someone as good. You have me best wishes on every front!

[ericvilas:] Thank you. You are an amazing person, just wanted to let you know that.

[facts-i-just-made-up:] Thanks! You are too, don't let yourself forget it :)

From then on, every time I see him talking about the book it gets me at the very least teary-eyed.
I reread the conversation as I was going to paste it here and I actually started crying.

Ari is a really good person. I'm really happy he talked to me. OH FUCK I'M GETTING TEARY-EYED AGAIN.

 

i don't know why i'm crying

i have a gloom and i can't do anything about it

::rolls around making fretful noises::

 

ari is SUCH A GOOD PERSON, you are correct

 

have been crying for almost twenty minutes now, nbd

 

Okay, so I just watched the Black Mirror episode San Junipero and what the fuck. I was not ready...

 

i stayed up too late and didn't eat dinner early enough and devils-avocado & unknownanonymous are cracking me up and my cat keeps stepping on my keyboard and trying to sleep on my hands and i'm all mixed up inside with happiness and gloom swirling around each other and i need a nap

 

I just watched the Allegro christmas advert. Goddamn it.

 

I am not seen as an adult in my house. I am the overgrown 25 year old child. I am to be protected at all cost. I am not me. Fuck.

 

I DON'T KNOW :(

 

I caught up with an ongoing fic (again. Did I not learn my lesson the first time I read this story?) and the most recent chapter ends on a sad/scary note and and Q.Q I just want them to be okay dammit

 

Spoiler: Spoilers for greys anatomy

Spoiler: A big one

DEREK DIED :(

 

I bought ffx/x-2 hd remastered last week. Today i played until i got to kilika and the sending and tidus not knowing about what kind of journey yunas supposed to be on and i just...I HAVE SO MANY FUCKING FEELS YOU GUYS

 

do not even get me fucking STARTED on ffx that game was my childhood i could cry about it for LITERAL DAYS.

the remaster is so good!!!! the story and the graphics and the music and ughhhh

and how the besdaid island theme is a faster instrumental of suteki da ne and its raining on my face