Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is a bastard

(better title forthcoming; i'm bad at them. if u have a suggestion shoot it at me)

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria can kiss my ass and fuck allllll the way off.

For those who aren't aware about RSD; it's an extreme emotional reaction to perceived rejection/disappointment/etc. For some people it's only triggered by people they care about, and for others it's everyone. It's considered an ADHD symptom, but i wouldn't be shocked if it crops up on it's own from time to time.

My personal experience with it is a huge weight in my guts, overthinking, and suicidal idealization.

I haven't found a lot of decent ways to combat it tbh. sometimes it's a run it's course thing, and other times i feel a touch better after talking with a third party (still takes a few days to recover though)

So I figured we could use a thread about tips & bitching bc sometimes the act of getting it out helps.

Spoiler: rsd episode

like, on my birthday, my aunt gave me a purse by a designer that always makes me think of my grandmother, and it was a sweet gesture but i can't use purses (i stick with pockets so i can do a easy check for things, and i could leave a purse somewhere by accident) so i talked to vi about it bc i felt very unlistened to (i've said i don't use purses multiple times) and vi went out with them and apparently talked about it (which was a sweet gesture to get them to get me something small i love, but it did make my aunt feel bad) and then late night i got a bit of crap for talking about my disappointment with Vi. and IMMEDIATELY i felt sick and depressed and guilty because i ruined it by even talking to a third party! i said my thank yous and that i liked it (I did, it's really cute, but i felt bad bc I'd never use it at all, and it felt like a waste) and i never asked vi to get me something else or tell her, i jokingly had asked them 'so where's my gift from u?' to tease and lighten my mood before they left.

so you know, cried, wanted to die, usual bullshit. and like, it was 100% uncalled for to be given a bit of crap for but also fuck man. i should have been able to like say 'hey, i didn't ask for vi to tell her, i just needed to say something to someone' and move on with my instead of feeling like crap for two days whenever i looked at the purse.

also it keeps me from queuing for dungeons in ff14 :T i'm so fucking scared of being the tank people bitch about.

 

oh god this is me

i don't think i have anything i want to reply here right now but such a hard fucking same