Reporting the mods

Discussion in 'That's So Meta!' started by Athol Magarac, Oct 24, 2018.

  1. haha no

    haha no New Member

    so has anybody else noticed that she constantly tries to use the same arguments people use on her even if it makes no fucking sense

    people said she was lying so she started saying spock was lying
    people said she was abusive so she started calling the mods abusive
    people told her to take a break and step away from the thread so she told spock to take a break and go drink a cup of herbal tea

    she goes 'this made me feel attacked,' so she tries to use it to attack other people

    any day now i bet she's going to start yelling at the mod team to go to rehab
     
    • Agree x 20
  2. witchknights

    witchknights Bold Enchanter Defends The Fearful

    Banning would be useless, because she has engaged in a lengthy harassment campaign against the last people that tried. It would only help her alternate timeline tragedy that she's created in her mind of the horrible abusive real bad oppression she suffers because everyone else is a violent bully and she has no blame whatsoever for her actions.
     
    • Agree x 7
  3. Jove

    Jove [ destination defenestration ]

    Oh, we notice, me we point it out very frequently.
     
    • Agree x 3
  4. TheSeer

    TheSeer 37 Bright Visionary Crushes The Doubtful

    @seebs, I hope I didn't wrong you by what I said about the paraphrase?
     
  5. rigel

    rigel in a line of late afternoon sun

    the thing is about banning, is that i'm pretty sure seebs gives the info of accounts that apply to join kintsugi a once over before setting posting to yes??? please correct me if im wrong ghghgjg

    i DO know that you cant just register and start immediately posting, or we'd be full of bots.

    i don't think athol could reliably pose as a completely different person to evade a ban here.

    edit: and even if she could? we'd know almost immediately, as soon as she starts posting.
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2018
    • Agree x 7
    • Informative x 5
  6. Ana Nimus

    Ana Nimus Well-Known Member

    Given that her bullshit pretty much started from the first post, for her to not quickly be recognized and banned again would require a significant change in her behavior which would be more progress than this entire thread and would likely mean that a ban was no longer needed.
     
    • Agree x 12
  7. Kathy

    Kathy Well-Known Member

    And before you start Athol - people aren't discussing banning you because really We are the ones who have Abused You. You are in pain and being you Hurts, that's recognized, but your unacceptable actions are going to keep making people angry at you, and people being upset at you and pointing out your actions are unacceptable hurts you more, and you abuse people more as a result and you often fail to understand why even the most egregious things are abusive. This isn't healthy for anyone.

    We can't help you here. Not in any substantial way. You keep asking for information we've already given you, and dismissing it because it's not want you want to hear. There's no real evidence that you understand why some stuff is never okay to do to other people, or else if you do you keep discounting it as unimportant compared to your need to try and control and hurt people, which you have acknowledged previously through posts as being a thing. You are abusive in a deep-set way, it filters through everything you say.

    You need to detox, and go to therapy. Maybe print off sections of these threads where we're telling you what you've done wrong, with the quotes from you attached, and show them to that eventual therapist. You need to get help.

    As far as I see it, you have two main options.

    Option A:

    You take the advice I've been giving you for like, over a month. You stop trying to post in threads about heavy topics, especially any threads that are complaining about things you believe. You can ask for a ban from those sections of the forum.
    You can try to learn how to socialize without it being centered around high-stakes topics, mockery, or your own abusive actions. Participate in small sections of the community like forum games. Keep it light. Practice empathizing with other people when you see they are in pain. Try to get to know other people. Keep that word document of advice open and scan every post you make before submitting it for post-mod so you can minimize wiggling. You detox. You go to therapy. You learn how to communicate and care about other people aside from when they're doing things you want them too. You start to get better and make friends.

    Or.

    Option B:

    You continue what you are doing now. You eventually drive off every person who is willing to interact with you. You keep being wiggled for saying and doing awful things and ignore the clarifications on what those things were until those clarifications stop being offered because having our help continually ignored means that we're eventually going to stop trying. You grow more frustrated and angry. You try to hurt people more and refuse to acknowledge that you are responsible for your own actions. At some point you are banned for your own safety and you internalize that this means that we were abusing you and trying to silence you, rather than there being serious issues with what you are doing. You feel more rejected and double down once again on the behaviors. You grow more isolated. You decide that you will never get better and shouldn't bother trying, and embrace the incel and other hate group rhetoric of it all being useless so why not lay down and rot. You are miserable.


    Both of these options involve you making a choice. You choose which path you take, Athol. You have the power to change things and do better.

    Option A is hard. It's also a hopeful path. It's one where I can see us just having chill conversations about hobbies down the line and me not experiencing a feeling of dread whenever I see you've posted something. It's one where eventually you can learn to be happy about being a person.

    Option B? Is much harder. Because it involves looking at every hand offered to you, and making a choice to ignore it, because your current state of things is familiar. It sucks, it's painful, it hurts you. But it is familiar, and comforting because it is familiar. You decide you are not a person, and that your actions do not matter because you are not a person. You decide that caring about other people relies on being a person in the first place, when you do not believe you are one. You systemically dehumanize yourself and all of your other issues get worse until your health starts to cascade. Option B is not one that ends well for you, Athol. And that would be sad, and a waste of your potential as a human being to get better and be happy.

    You have to choose what you want to do.
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2018
    • Agree x 17
  8. idiomie

    idiomie I, A Shark Apologist

    on the one hand, i don't actually want to ban her, because i like the forum general principle of "we don't do bans here" but on the other

    having seen what's filtered through

    i really can't justify asking the mods to be exposed to her for my ~principles~
     
    • Agree x 14
    • Useful x 1
  9. TheSeer

    TheSeer 37 Bright Visionary Crushes The Doubtful

    I wasn't actually suggesting a ban. The... If not a rule, let's call it a "practice" ... The practice of avoiding bans here is something I'm pretty sure I like.
     
    • Agree x 4
    • Informative x 1
  10. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    Most obviously: Athol doesn't actually want to be here. We aren't offering a chance to sit around being smug and derisive towards other people's writing. All we have is hard work and unpleasant self-examination.
     
    • Agree x 4
    • Informative x 3
  11. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    Yes. This is a really common pattern with narcissists. They don't understand why people seem to think that a given thing was persuasive or got approval, so they just imitate it approximately and expect to get the same results.
     
    • Informative x 6
    • Agree x 3
  12. idiomie

    idiomie I, A Shark Apologist

    the telling spock to drink a cup of herbal tea was honestly pretty trippy
     
    • Agree x 13
  13. spockandawe

    spockandawe soft and woolen and writhing with curiosity

    I mean, god, at this point I'm downing 80+ oz of tea every single day. If tea was going to solve my problems, I think it would have already happened XDDD
     
    • Witnessed x 8
    • Winner x 2
  14. thegrimsqueaker

    thegrimsqueaker 28 Moribunding Mouse Aggravates the Angry Assholes

    I'm offended by the idea that tea can't solve all problems, but I know enough history to be willing to admit that it can also cause a fair few problems
     
    • Winner x 10
    • Agree x 6
  15. TheSeer

    TheSeer 37 Bright Visionary Crushes The Doubtful

    For example, in those quantities, it will make you need to pee.
     
    • Agree x 6
    • Informative x 1
  16. spockandawe

    spockandawe soft and woolen and writhing with curiosity

    The biggest problem..... my poor wallet...........

    Screenshot_2018-11-25-16-58-10~2.png

    Based on when I found this store, that's more than a chipmunk per month, and now my weak-ass sense of self-control is facing down all the new christmas teas they're getting in stock ;u;
     
    • Witnessed x 16
    • Like x 1
    • Winner x 1
  17. keltka

    keltka the green and brown one

    is that david's tea
    they have such cute tins I love their stuff
     
    • Agree x 6
    • Informative x 1
  18. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    God I love David's Tea, and they brought back my favorite holiday blend I could cry from joy
     
    • Like x 1
  19. Paradigm Shift

    Paradigm Shift Sleepy Girl Wants Love

    We are offering continual addressment and attention, though. Athol might not be showered in praise, but she is receiving a near-incessant trickle of strong reactions and emotional responses. Attention, attention, attention. I know banning's been brought up in regards to other forums, aka that 'Other forums would've banned her and put an end to it already'. This indicates to me more than anything that her continued presence here is less about validation and that's the surface coating to what's actually a plea for attention. Maybe not applause, but attention. If she were just here because she wants validation and a place to be smug, I think by now the message would have sunk in that it isn't going to happen. Thus I think if a ban were to happen she'd be shooting all over the place trying to be on some kind of supposed righteous crusade just the same as at the PPC. I don't think it's about getting good vibes and group camaraderie; I think that is a surface layer.

    I could be completely off-base; I'm sure as hell not in her head or even comprehending a quarter of her posts, nor do I have access to the wiggler.

    In the event @rigel was correct and there are means of ensuring that a ban would be more permanent than at other forums and monitored to make sure we don't see 50 sock puppets, that winds up being my preferred method. While I love the idea of this forum as a place free of bans, I agree with prior statements that she's doing nothing but hurting herself and shows no benefit from being here. If anything she's just hurting other people and receiving absolutely nothing out of it but the most negative affirmations - all the positivity and things that could actually help impact the brick wall, but she opens her window for the "Ah yes, a monster. Ah yes, validation for continuing to feel less of a person. Ah yes, I'm dreadful, keep it comin'" type of comments. This is going nowhere but downhill. What are we at collectively now, something like 200 pages or so of Athol walking in a circle between all these threads?

    If banning can't be monitored like that and/or people are too uncomfortable to go through with that as an ultimate option, on the other hand, then...I guess I'm back to the "What can we do but sit on our hands or hit our heads on the brick wall" state of being stumped I was in before.

    Do note: Maybe this is just covering my own ass because I'm worried about the kneejerk reaction to people bringing up banning, but I am not the kind of person that normally cries "Ban 'em, ban 'em all!" Almost every single situation that has cropped up here before, no matter how bad, has not reached this extreme. Have there been times, in my opinion? Yeah, but I don't think they've ever gone on this long.

    I love this no-banning practice, but holy crap, do I think it's more harmful than helpful right now.
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2018
    • Agree x 13
  20. idiomie

    idiomie I, A Shark Apologist

    ngl, I'm half expecting a new thread in ITA about Spock's "abuse" to pop up in the next couple days
     
    • Agree x 7
    • Witnessed x 5
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