Reporting the mods

FFS, how am I supposed to have a conversation when half of what I say gets wiggled?

And what's wrong with hating on reckless driving?

 

What is so wrong about the idiom "Pushed my buttons" that someone said it was bad?

 

btw, I've decided that all this is out of the remit of my abilities to address. Sorry if you were expecting a reply, but i'm not giving one.

 

Stop editing claims so that they support your position.

Can I change my position so I can be in the right? I think I've already acknowledged that I'm seeing Spock's posts as nasty when they're not, and people are seeing my posts as being nasty. (I'm going for restrained frustration.) And Spock isn't to blame for anything I do as the result of my anger. I guess it's also my fault that I get angry at anything she says no matter what it is. Except, is it still my fault when people get angry at me for saying things like "sundown town" ? Also, why are people accepting that reaction images can make me angry?

 

You pushed my buttons. Is that a lie?

 

Okay, so, here is the thing. I don't feel up to engaging in this thread in the sense of breaking down what's been said and why, but I do have this advice:

I said this before but it appears your reply got wiggled, so I'll say it again. From what I've seen here, drinking is your primary or only coping mechanism, and having grown up among a plethora of alcoholics, I can promise you that you've crossed over the line where that method of coping does more good than it does harm, or even the line where it draws even. I'm not even gonna advocate you stop drinking 100% (although if you do decide to stop drinking for God's sake please do it under medical supervision because alcohol withdrawal is very dangerous). I'm gonna advocate you incorporate at least two other coping mechanisms into your life - I don't know you so I don't know what would work for you, but I personally like reading trashy romance and baking - and turn to them before you turn to drinking. You are provably not in touch with the same reality the rest of us are, and absolutely nothing we have to say is going to help you until you get to a point where you can engage with us on the same logical plane - and that's not going to happen while you have all of these things keeping you from your perceptions being accurate.

 

The serophobia is in stating that a gay man should have died of aids as a consequence of being gay and promiscuous. Any thing else- your reasons for thinking this is a right or good thing to say, your personal history with this person, whether or not you think they "deserved" it- is immaterial.

There is nothing wrong with the idiom. There is everything wrong with including it as a gotcha. What your original attachment reads as is, "Spock pushed my buttons, so even though I will agree that I was the one who harmed myself, I will still place the blame on her for it, and not take responsibility for, or admit any agency in my self harming."

 

Okay, look. This anti-semitism thing has gotten out of control. (color coded for your convenience)

Waaaaay Back in the racism thread, thegrimsqueaker posted these links (I can't quote the post, perhaps because it's a locked thread):

https://www.adl.org/media/5137/download this pdf, which is a lesson plan for high schoolers to explain why the very antisemitic bullshit you've been spouting is bullshit. Look PARTICULARLY at p. 7

They also linked to this brief but accurate explanation from wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisemitic_canard#Accusations_of_controlling_the_media

ETA: Read this article, too. It's better than the wikipedia explanation: https://jewishcurrents.org/essay/the-soros-myth/

But despite that post, and the tens of other posts trying, again and again and again, to explain that what you were saying was antisemitic bullshit, you continued to baselessly complain that we were all mean bullies who didn't take the time to listen to you or patiently explain things.

In this very thread, I made this post in response to you, again, claiming that no one had explained things to you:

This part is big and bright because it is important. Look at those links that thegrimsqueaker so helpfully provided. Then look at the news in the past week. (https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/how-the-tree-of-life-shooting-reflects-american-anti-semitism) Look at what this anti-semitic, bullshit conspiracy theory that you are so strongly clinging to helped inspire just last week.

But still, you keep defending your right to think and say that Jews control the media. Is this really the cause you want to go to the mat for? Today? Now?

How fucking dare you.

 

Strongly depends what you mean by this. If the position you're looking to change is "bigoted" to "not bigoted", yes. If the position you are looking to change is "I am angry at spock and people what I do is messed up" to "I am angry and spock and people support me in what I do", probably not unless you stop the behavior that has been outlined as a problem.

I don't recall if you have outside of posting that you are frustrated about this, but thank you for this part.

Yes, that's on you.

Yes, because you were using incredibly heavily coded language typically used by POC to warn each other when they are in danger of being murdered should they stay in a town after dark to complain that people on the forum are reacting negatively to the bigoted things you say, which include racist things. I didn't even know what that term meant until yesterday, looked it up, did some extremely brief research, and realized how absolutely inappropriate it was.



I've given you tips on making the things you say less loaded. Use them. I'm tired of repeating myself.

 

that's the thing, people can't work with abusive statements

you say Spock "pushed [your] buttons," and you keep saying that like you were forced to lash out, or like it absolves you of anything harmful you do in response

but you weren't forced to lash out, that was a choice you made

and it doesn't absolve you of any blame for hurting other people

and you keep saying she "pushed [your] buttons" like that means she effectively held a gun to your head and made you do unhealthy things like binge drink

(btw, please go to rehab)

but she didn't.

in no way were you forced to lash out at other people

and in no way were you forced by Spock or anyone else to binge drink or self-harm

and acting like you were forced to do these things and that you shouldn't take responsibility is harmful both to you and to everyone who was already harmed by you lashing out

so no, this is not a thing people can or should work with you on

(unless that person is a trained therapist that you are paying to help you)

 

@Athol Magarac the term “push my buttons” implies intention. When you say that Spock is pushing your buttons, your choice of words conveys a believe that she is intentionally trying to make you angry. This is not the case, Spock is not trying to make you angry or to hurt you.

I fully believe that you are feeling hurt and anger in response to Spock’s words. Now please listen to me, because this is hard. While your hurt and anger is triggered by Spock’s words, no one but you is responsible for your feelings, and only you can be responsible for your actions. Including the actions prompted by your feelings of hurt and anger.

Your feelings are valid. But you have to own them.

When someone disagrees with you, or contradicts you, I know that it can be hard to read it in a tone that doesn’t sound or feel like an attack. I know because I have been there. But if you misinterpret the tone and react to your interpretation it is completely on you.

I think you understand this by this point, but I have not seen that understanding stated explicitly, and I especially have not seen anything that looks like a genuine apology for your actions.

 

I am. I am absolutely going to advocate that. If your judgement and understanding about alcohol is even half as impaired as your judgement and understanding about other things while on alcohol, you need to be on the wagon.

True. Yes. Go to rehab.