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Reporting the mods

Discussion in 'That's So Meta!' started by Athol Magarac, Oct 24, 2018.

  1. Jove

    Jove RETURN THE SLAB

    This just reads as an ever more depsarate attempt not to have to deal with things.

    Where's my Person Displays Abuser Techniques bingo card? I think Spock's entitled to four of them and a grand prize at this point.
     
    • Agree x 11
    • Like x 1
  2. latitans

    latitans fake fan

    I read your explanations. They are generally justifications for why you said the thing, in the form of talking about your past or a piece of media that you saw that had a character in it that you identify with. Those justifications don't negate that you said a bad thing.

    (NB: Your explanations are also often difficult to understand, because you reference things without context.)

    Let's look at the most recent example. I'm going to imitate your preferred format of inserting my replies in a different color.
    ETA: To clarify, when i say "problematic", I don't mean it in the tumblr sense, I mean it in the sense of "using this term confuses the meaning of what is actually being said" for x y or z reason.
     
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2018 at 4:25 PM
    • Agree x 4
  3. spockandawe

    spockandawe "UPPITY"

    Literally, I mean that I posted that 'I approved fucktard but maybe could you not', and you argued with me about how it's not really a slur because [reasons]. (Eta: and the follow-up question about whether her phrasing was unclear, in case we're getting extra nitpicky)

    THAT is what i am talking about. A specific incident. With a record to back me up. FACTS.

    And... oh dear, making assumptions about someone's motivations. It would be a shame if that was something you got mad at other people for doing. Repeatedly. So many fucking times. Sure glad this doesnt count as hypocrisy on your part because [excuse not found]
     
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2018 at 3:41 PM
    • Witnessed x 4
    • Agree x 1
  4. thegrimsqueaker

    thegrimsqueaker 28 Moribunding Mouse Aggravates the Angry Assholes

    oh, people read them, we just either have a ridiculously hard time understanding them bc you don't use words in a way that makes sense to english speakers, or we just disagree with you
     
    • Agree x 15
  5. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    Yeah, somehow time has become a little bit meaningless. I don't interact with sunrise/sunset so it's all a bit hazy. It's a normal thing that happens to people with non-typical schedules.
     
    • Informative x 2
  6. Jove

    Jove RETURN THE SLAB

    As someone with narcolepsy I can confirm up to a point. This is, however, still half bullshit.

    Also. Hey. @Athol Magarac. 7 minutes early because I need to eat but, you know. Resources. Still willing to help find some.

    I'm afraid you aren't going to make me go away on this one by ignoring me, either. It's a genuine offer to help, too.
     
    • Informative x 5
    • Agree x 1
  7. bloop

    bloop Well-Known Member

    Because I have anxiety, I'd like to clarify two things: I wasn't advocating for @Athol Magarac to go to rehab not because I don't think she'll benefit from it - I believe it would be the best thing for her - but because from my personal experience with people who abuse alcohol, "reduce drinking by finding other coping mechanisms" is an easier sell than "put my entire life on hold for potentially months while I go through a medical treatment that will keep me away from my home and potentially my support system (because my support system may be enabling my alcohol abuse)" and I believe any change is good change. However I would also like to clarify that I think much of what she's said in this thread is hurtful and hateful and I don't endorse it, because anxiety is convinced I came across as agreeing with her point of view. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    @Athol Magarac - please detox from alcohol under medical supervision, it's dangerous to do otherwise. You are not going to be able to have a productive discussion until you can think clearly and that is not happening with the help of anyone here. You need a professional, or a team of professionals.
     
    • Agree x 9
  8. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    Yeah, I figured out that it caused problems right before quitting. I got distracted in trying to respond to you and should probably write the rest of the night off for this stupid mobile game that drains an expensive phone. (Nice features, I was just like "my phone has five bad drop-scars and the battery is going bad... oh, the one hubby wants is bogo, I'm in. Mom got a lesser phone and a tablet deal.)
     
    • Like x 1
  9. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    PM me. I can't initiate. I'd tell you to ask Pal for my skype-name but I don't respond to skype in a timely manner. I won't even broadcast my reddit name or which sub I'm a mod of.
     
  10. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    Blah blah blah... something actually advocating rehab despite saying not advocating rehab, a lot of stuff blurred out that was probably not selfish reasons but I coloured by habing the expectation... Lost my own train of thought because time passed and I can't figure out where that train was trying to go.

    Lost my train of thought again because time.

    And that train is now so derailed that it' causing bear-problems 20 years later.

    If anything important happened after I the response I went incoherent at... something.
     
  11. Lizardlicks

    Lizardlicks Friendly Neighborhood Lizard

    Yeah incoherent certainly is the word there.

    Anyway, go to rehab.
     
    • Agree x 11
  12. Jove

    Jove RETURN THE SLAB

    I don't see why you can't initiate, or what you mean by it (feel free to clue me in), but I'll do that in a while, after I've run some errands. That's just as well, anyways, because I don't use Skype and I don't go near Reddit for the sake of my own health. I'll gladly field any questions I can, I'll help with resources, and I'll do my best to help within my capacity, which may be limited. Always willing to try my best to be patient, considering I'm mean sometimes, and in irreverent asshole, but I'm not that much of an asshole.

    That said, I'm going to say this here and now where it can be seen and is made very, very clear, what I won't do is tolerate the bullshit you've put Spock (let alone others) through. I will do my best to communicate, and that means including telling you "look, [x] thing was hurtful/not okay/ect., and here's why", and I do expect at least an apology directly dealing with that behavior, if such a thing happens. I have zero damn tolerance for this shit. Same goes for you. Tell me when something gets to you, and we'll work it out.

    Will that work out, or does that make it a no-go?
     
  13. TheOwlet

    TheOwlet A feathered pillow filled with salt and science

    @Jove people on post-mod can't Start conversations iirc
     
    • Agree x 4
    • Informative x 1
  14. thegrimsqueaker

    thegrimsqueaker 28 Moribunding Mouse Aggravates the Angry Assholes

    oh, that's actually a thing for some people on postmod

    edit: ninja'd
     
  15. Jove

    Jove RETURN THE SLAB

    Thanks! That clears that up.
     
  16. TheSeer

    TheSeer 37 Bright Visionary Crushes The Doubtful

    @Jove, "helping drunks" and "zero tolerance for bad behaviour" are two great tastes that do not go great together. Drunks. Don't. Stop. If the behavior we've been seeing so far isn't tolerable to you, disengage now, because it isn't going to change.
     
    • Agree x 2
  17. Kathy Jones

    Kathy Jones Well-Known Member

    Wobbles hand.

    Let's not totally remove Athol's own agency here, yeah? The last thing anyone wants is for her to internalize something like 'you can never actually try to be a better person in your current state' cause man that'd depress the hell out of me and also make me less willing to investigate the help offered.

    Also, Athol, I made the thread in TCHGB. I'm happy to talk to you there.
     
    • Agree x 11
  18. TheSeer

    TheSeer 37 Bright Visionary Crushes The Doubtful

    I'd be more worried about that if there was any sign she was internalising things that people say.
     
  19. Jove

    Jove RETURN THE SLAB

    Perhaps I'm not understanding, because this doesn't make any inherent sense to me-- it's like telling me, someone with BPD, "people with BPD don't stop, so call them lost causes and move on", which I doubt is what you were trying to get at. If that comes across as harsh, or jumping to conclusions, I do apologize. It stems from hearing that over and over. "You're [insert BPD, brain damaged, learning disabled, ect. here], and people like you aren't worth the compassion". For me, yes, the behavior is intolerable, however, I'm not trying to change the behavior. I have no illusions that I can do that. Only they can. Giving resources and being willing to field questions/do what I have the spoons to do isn't the same as changing someone's behavior. To me, that's giving them more, better tools than what they have for hem to do or not do with them as they please. It's up to Athol what to do with what I give them in hopes that even though they haven't listened to other people, they might listen to me, even just a little.

    Either they'll take it, or they'll leave it. No real skin off my back, honestly.
     
    • Agree x 8
    • Like x 1
  20. Jove

    Jove RETURN THE SLAB

    Double post, but forgot to address this, too-- I take the stance of "I don't know what's actually going on behind the keyboard here, I don't know they, I'm not a mind reader, I am not them". All we see is what they type, and to say "I don't see any evidence of internalization" is a justifiable reason to say "give up on them" is disingenuous in my personal opinion. All we have is what they type. We can't read Athol's actual thoughts or moods. For all we know, they might be internalizing it or parts of it, and not saying anything. Or not at all. We just don't know.

    I'd much rather err on the side of compassion and allowing Athol their agency. I'd want someone to do the same for me if I were in their situation.
     
    • Agree x 5
    • Like x 1
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