Reporting the mods

I opened it.
I don't care.
Answer my question.
Yes or no. Just yes or no, nothing else.

 

as you can see, she understood even in the moment that what she said was “vile”, she just didn’t care, and that’s the sticking point

(edited for wording)

 

Um, yes if I'm understanding the question right.

 

Cool. Don't fucking do it then. Apologize for having done it. Make it clear that you recognize that it was a really bad and awful thing to do and it doesn't matter why you did it or what you were thinking, if you do actually understand.

 

It's something that I shouldn't have done, and if I could undo the past I would.

 

undoing the past is not a thing you can do
understanding why what you did is wrong, is

 

It's a good start. Now apologize for it, please. Just apologize. If you feel regret, say you feel regret. Do not catastrophize. Please actually demonstrate to us that you can do this.

 

I'm sorry for the bad thing I said to Spock. It was probably the worst doozy.

 

Forgive me if I'm clouding the thread up, but I keep being reminded of this very insightful post written by Issendai on dysfunctional beliefs.

edit: also very relevant

 

Interesting. I'm not the healthiest emotion-wise, but some of this seems close while other things are far-off.

"If I have an emotional reaction to something someone does, the other person is responsible for my emotions." Which, yeah. Why did they keep saying "you hurt people" as an excuse to not let me say things? Where does "provoke" come from?

Not really? "If I have an emotional reaction to something, then that something is my business." I mean, I guess it's situational? Isn't that the whole point of FIDrama?

This one is a threshold thing. "Emotions cause actions. When I feel something, I can’t not act on it. (Or, at least, it’s wrong not to act on it.)" That's why I was asking if Spock was human, to determine if they had the capacity to not hit the post button. But how hard can you push someone before adrenaline forces them to act? I'm trying to figure out how to expand on things without getting wiggled, so I'll try to come back to this.

 

I just caught up with this and WHAT THE FUCK???

(Also if anyone needs to vent/talk/a hug, my PMs are open. This doesn't go for Athol)

 

...athol

the entire point of that post is that all the things listed are dysfunctional beliefs...

 

Agree with TheOwlet, open PM's for anyone except Athol.

 

Yeah, still not getting it.

 

I wish the author had been more clear about that, but I'm pretty sure she means Responsible as in "Needs to comfort/deal with the reaction", not "was the cause of the reaction."

 

Could you say this part again in a different way? Or take it down to hindbrain stuff instead of morals? I'm thinking that emotions is a very primitive thing.

The rest of it...

Just yeah, not getting it. I do have a story, though.

One night, I was so upset about the PPC that I started screaming. This was at the height of waking up while standing in the kitchen. I managed to scream in such a way that it set off the glass-break alarm. So I push the button on the touch-screen to disable the ear-splitting noise. It didn't work and the screen started developing this weird organic rainbow pattern. In the morning, it turned out that I had somehow shattered the screen with a finger.

 

Oh hey, could we work with "cause" and whether or not believing that other people can cause a reaction is a harmful belief?

 

Here:

https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/cognitive-distortions.pdf

Read it. Save it. Refer to it.